I know that you probably aren't reading this, and I don't particularly care; consider this a warning to others so that they know how to handle what you put me through.

First and foremost, thank you for all of the great memories that we made together. I honestly can't thank you enough for the times that we would scream sing our anger out, make spur of the moment trips to Sonic or Hobby Lobby, watch old movies or tell each other about our awkward pre-teen years. Thank you for being there for me after stupid heartbreaks, and for making me feel whole when I felt like it'd just be easier to remain broken. You were the stern kick in the behind when I was too much of a shit-show, but the commonality between us is that we were both shit-shows.

These memories will remain dear to me, but with a different feeling than what I would have if we were still in each other's lives.

I'm not here to tell you that your life is gonna suck without me or to ask why the heck you honestly just walked out of our friendship, no, I'm here to thank you for doing so. If I'm not worth a good-bye, or even a response in our group message, then bye, Felecia. Because of your blatant ignorance towards my efforts of rekindling our friendship, new people entered my life. And let me tell you, they're effing cool. Like, you were pretty cool, but hot damn, these people are beyond great. I can't even write in a professional manner because they make me feel that good about myself. With you, I felt like I had to monitor what I said because you would more than likely have a counter-argument, most times, just to disagree. It feels pretty great to not be judged every second of the day or have to ignore my beliefs just for the sake of your small tolerance to that of what you don't agree with. Simply put, you were passive aggressive. That's not cute.

lol side story. Remember when I was going to the bathroom with the door open (tmi, idc) and you slammed it and said "what, were you raised in a barn??" Jokes on you, I kinda was, so....

Everything happens for a reason, and yeah, first semester of college was pretty dope, and nothing will take away what you did for me and vice versa, but these new people in my life are a breath of fresh air. They accept me for who I am, not for what I have or how put together I am. I never realized that having my imperfections loved more than my (lol who am I kidding, I really don't have any perfections, but I can't think of another word? so..) perfections is the best feeling in the world.

So again, I can't thank you enough. Thank you for deleting me on every form of social media and for spreading rumors about me. It's petty, yeah yeah, it's petty. (sorry, every time I say petty, I think of that funny vid lol). & I was confused when you did walk out on me, not exactly for "omg, why tf did my best friends just up and walk out on me, I want them back", but because I didn't hurt when you did. I was really grasping for emotions to feel, because I honestly didn't feel anything. And I don't say that to be rude, but I mean, you obviously weren't too upset about it either.

To my readers: You should never feel like a nuisance to those that claim to be your best friends or to those who claim to love you. Looking back, I kind of felt like a stray dog that just kept showing up to their dorm room because they kept feeding me, what I kind of realize now, lies. As cliche as it sounds, stay true to yourself and don't, not even for a second, think that you have to alter yourself in order to keep friends. If you have to change something about yourself, then why the hell are you friends with them? I'm almost 20, and I'm just now realizing this, and it's honestly empowering. If they loved me half as much as they projected through those spur of the moment trips, or the stories from our pasts, they wouldn't have done what they did.

Yeah, it sucks that I'll probably never know why they walked out, and I don't care to find out. I'll be living my life over here while they're over there, and I'm okay with that. I wish them nothing but the best in their futures, and hope they find people that meet their criteria for friendship. I'm sure they have applications.