You can't save people, you can just love them. And love me, you do.

Notice that this letter doesn't say "in spite of my mental illness". Because truly, that's never what your love has been about. You've never treated my mental illness like an elephant in the room, but you don't ignore its existence either. You love me: with all my quirks, hobbies, stupid jokes, and my mental illness. You love me, and your love makes it easier for me to love me.

Also, notice that I didn't say that this was all because of you. My improvement, my growth, my healing. No, you'd never let that slide. Because with your love comes the encouragement and the reminders that I'm a fighter. That I'm a bad ass. That I got myself here, and you simply loved me unconditionally along the way.

Living with a mental illness is tough, and I know loving someone with a mental illness isn't always a walk in the park either. From the days when I am unstoppable and free, to the days when I resemble a lump on a log - and everything in between. It isn't always "fair", and it definitely isn't always fun, but believe me when I say that your love, your support, just you - help make it a journey worth taking.

You deserve more credit than I offer you when the darkness creeps in. When my rage bubbles over, when my sadness has me crumbling, when I'm just feeling empty. When my walls go up, when I'm a self-described "mess". You have the bravery, persistence, and the beautiful heart to not only walk into the storm, but to take a seat (metaphorically or literally) as we push through together.

I'm sorry for the times I take that for granted. When the anger for what I'm going through is thrown onto you. When everything seems wrong. When I lose sight of the good in the world and in myself. But I am not sorry for saying this: I would not be where I am had it not been for you. To be frank, without the love you have given me, I may not even be here.

You are so special, and you are so damn wonderful.

Thank you for the days when I need you to "love me a little louder", and you do. For the love that is gentle, as well as the love that is tough. Thank you for pushing me. For trying to understand, even when I don't. Thank you for admiring my strength as I keep going, and offering some of your own when I need it most. For reminding me of the beauty that's within me when I'm blinded by the chaos inside my head. Thank you for helping me instill in myself that I'm more than my demons, more than my illness. For showing me love without feeling sorry for me. Thank you for the lessons you have helped me learn about myself. For the time you've spent helping me heal through phone calls, coffee, or movie days under warm blankets. Thank you for every day, hour, minute, and second you have dedicated to loving me exactly as I am because "as I am" is always enough.

Thank you for existing. Thank you for loving me.

I owe you big time, that's for sure.

I love you always,

Me.