Dear Parent,

First thing's first, I want to thank you. I want to thank you although you have not been here for me at all, you have made me as strong as I am today. I want to thank you for teaching me so many lessons, because of your absence. I want to thank you for shining the light a little brighter on my dad who has been the greatest parent a child could ask for. But most importantly, I want to thank you for teaching me what kind of person I want to be, and what kind of parent I will be. This letter isn't to make you feel bad about yourself, this letter isn't me asking for anything from you, and this letter is definitely not to ask for any type of extra attention.

I am writing this letter to show you that I am doing fine without you. I am writing this letter to show you that I wish you could have been here for me when I needed you. I wish that, growing up, I didn't have to go through so many things without knowing the love of a mother. There is no reason or explanation that I am able to give myself, or anyone I know, who understands what motivates someone who brought another person into this world, to walk out. No, I will never understand you or your choices, but I do understand that everything happens for a reason, and honestly, if you would not have walked out of my life, I don't think I would be who I am today.

I'm hoping that as the years have passed, I have crossed your mind at some point in time. I'm hoping that you have asked yourself what you're missing out on. But because you have been gone so long, I want to tell you what you have missed out on, because all of these special moments will never be replayed, or relived.

You have missed out on many smiles, happiness, laughs, and sadness. From age 3, to age 19, you have missed out on more than you realize. You missed out on the first day of my freshman year of high school, and the many tears that came with that year. I was lost, and always questioned why I had to hurt so bad because of something I had no control over. I wondered why I couldn't stay up late at night getting help from my mom with my math homework. I wondered why I couldn't call my mom to ask why boys seemed to have no brain at times. Fast-forward three years, and you missed out on my first day of senior year, and everything in between then. You missed my confusion, and happiness, and sadness all at the same time. I was about to end one chapter of my life, and start another and you still weren't there. You missed me walk across the stage in my high school gymnasium and receive my diploma, with the happiest smile painted across my face. And here I am, as my freshmen year of college is coming to an end, and you are still missing every second of my life.

Although I am the youngest, I am not the only one who you hurt. You dragged down my older siblings, but let me tell you, without them or the strength they have given me, I would not be who I am today. Through them, I learned so many things, and they mean so much to me, more than they will ever know. And for them I am forever thankful. You hurt my dad, and for that, I wouldn't want to forgive you. He has done so much, and has never given up even when the going got tough, which clearly is a skill that you never acquired.

Among all things, you have taught me the biggest lesson, which is that even if you cannot trust one person, that doesn't mean the rest follow under that as well. For the longest time, I had no trust for anyone, and my heart hurt because I didn't understand that if my own parent couldn't stick around and give me the love I deserved, no one else could. For the longest time, I questioned my worth, and what was wrong with me that made it so easy for you. I have finally learned that nothing you have done to me has anything to do with any other person in my life. I have learned how to protect my heart, and that I cannot let anyone determine my own worth, but myself.

I just hope that one morning you sit up in bed, and realize what you have done. I hope you realize the decisions you made, have impacted more than just your life, which, might I add, I hope you love. If you were so unhappy with me and my siblings, then I hope you have the life you've always wanted now. I hope all of the excuses and lies turned out to be worth it. I hope missing out on the greatest struggles of my life, made yours better.

Lastly, I want to apologize for the length of this letter, but you won't understand, will you? You won't understand the hurt of a heart that has been through so much, but has so much love to give.

Sincerely,

Your Daughter