To my Best Friend:
I never really saw myself as someone who was worth being happy without any strings attached; without any conditions that needed to be met first. I’ve always been told that I’m not good enough—that I could be better, or that there’s someone who is better than me. My individuality, my quirks, and my humor have always been taken as my worst qualities, when now, I know that they’re actually my most shining attributes.
You came along, and my entire mindset changed.
When I was at my worst time, you were there. You might not have been there in the way that you are today; but you were still a part of how I strengthened my mind and healed my soul. I was in a place where nothing about me was “right,” and where my body was simply not satisfactory enough to look at. Not skinny enough through a Man’s perspective. You helped me realize that this should not have been affecting my self love in any way, shape, or form.
When I cut off the disastrous and harmful source inflicting this self-hatred, I understood that one person’s opinion of me was completely insignificant. Why? Because it wasn’t my own. Even when I was almost at rock bottom, you saw me. You didn’t care that the person whom, at that time, had me completely invested and caught up in a year of fighting to be seen for my heart – didn’t want to see me. I instantly was grateful for your attention and interest in me, even if I didn’t think anything of it.
I started to find myself again. I became stronger, physically and mentally. I treated myself with more respect, nourished my body and told myself that I was better than letting someone change how I viewed myself. I remembered the impact you had made in the process, helping me grow and find interests that made me feel like I was worth something. That I could do whatever I wanted, and no one could tell me otherwise.
When we first got together, it was hard. I didn’t know how to act. I kept having flashbacks of being told to hide who I am. You reassured me, over and over, that I didn’t need to hide anymore. You taught me that I was allowed to be silly, and you have always been right there being silly with me. Because of you, I know that I deserve to be loved; and you do love me—more than I have ever been loved before.
You are my biggest supporter and my biggest fan. Thank you for pushing me towards my goals, and holding me accountable for my actions and allowing me to be my space-y forgetful self. You always just laugh when I forget my keys, and are always so understanding when I ask you to bring my phone to me when I leave it at your house. Thank you for never making me feel like my presence is an annoyance, or that spending time with me is an inconvenience.
Thank you for being you, and even more so: letting me be me.
I love you more than chicken nuggets.
