Dear Someone Like Me,
It's true that nobody is perfect but sometimes, it can be hard to love your own skin. In this society where everyone is overrating "skinny," it's just so hard to ever love your own body. From the moment we check on our phones in the morning, we can't help but see words like "weight loss" and "detox", and posts of girls with thigh gaps and A4-paper size waists. No matter how much we tell ourselves that we won't care about it, we end up comparing ourselves with them and feel hideous for the way we look. This is even worse when there is social media where people could throw negative comments of how you look, leaving you feeling totally worthless. We just feel like you should skip a meal or hit the gym for five hours. We feel guilty for the chocolate muffin that you just ate. To be honest, we feel like wanting to chop that muffin top off or whatever. Will these self-destructive thoughts and behaviors ever stop? Why couldn't we just love our bodies?
It's not just you facing this. As human beings, our brains are primed to wanting what we do not have. Nobody has "a perfect life." Even the skinniest people have their own securities about their looks. So understand that it is completely normal to feel this way. But also understand that beauty comes in a spectrum. The world is designed to have a variation of different shapes and sizes. That is why we are born with our own unique set of genes which determines your bone mass and muscle composition etc. Sometimes you have to understand that no matter how hard you train to get a certain body type, you can't just get it because you are not born with it. DO NOT GET THIS WRONG. This is not something to hinder you from trying harder. Even it may not be possible to get a CERTAIN body type, it is possible to be get your OWN unique best body shape that everyone could kill for it. You have to try to look the best version of yourself through accomplishing amidst the struggle. And there is definitely beauty in it.
Work on being stronger, fitter and healthier
That is when healthy eating and exercise comes in. I emphasize on the word "healthy." A starvation-based diet and overtraining will temporarily make you lose weight BUT will not be sustainable over time. But with exercise and healthy eating, you are not just fixated on your looks but also your strength and health. Also the hard work you pay to earn for your body is priceless. This includes every inch of sore muscle and the drop of sweat. Focus on being a stronger, fitter and healthier girl than you were yesterday instead of comparing yourself to others.
Listen to your body
Workout not because you hate your body. Workout because your body deserves love and respect. Be patient and listen to what your body says. If it says it needs a nap instead of getting up early in the morning to hit the gym, take a few hours sleeping longer and exercise later in the day instead. With this in mind, you will even have more energy sticking to the healthy routine. Likewise, if it tells you to do cardio instead of strength, do it because it means it. Listen and trust your body. It knows how much food it needs too. You don't need to anxiously count calories in what you eat in order to be healthy and strong.
Set realistic goals
One reason why we are not happy is because we set unrealistic goals. We dream of getting one specific look that is not achievable in the short-term. For example, we want a thigh gap, not considering all the factors that count toward that look. A thigh gap doesn't mean someone is healthy and happy either. Instead, set goals for what you can practically achieve, such as being able to do a pull up or a headstand etc. Be proud of what you have done on a daily basis too, because they eventually and will definitely of course change your appearance due to the mindset that positively focuses on the reality daily instead of vague dreams.
Believe in yourself
Believe in yourself at all times, especially when things get tough. Sometimes we get negative energy from others who say that our hard work in ourselves is slow or is not working. But this is their opinion! What you should really care about is what you feel and what makes you happy. Once you have faith in yourself, it is easier to overcome your own fears and turn the negative energy into positive strength. Also, love yourself for the way you look now. You are already beautiful and perfect for the way you are. We are only girls who are putting hard work in ourselves because that will be the best investment ever made.
Love,
Scarlett
