As a woman in a today's society, I can admit that sometimes it's hard to know your worth. We have advertisements telling us that we aren't thin enough to be pretty. We have movies telling us that our usefulness ends at our sexuality. Everyday we have our intelligence questioned and our self-esteem challenged. When everything around us tells us that we aren't good enough, it's easy to believe it.
When women see themselves as unattractive, unintelligent, and unworthy, they allow others to treat them as such. They will stay in toxic friendships and relationships because they think they deserve no better. They watch as their boyfriends cheat on them, criticize them, and ignore their needs. They accept it as an unavoidable product of dating, instead of viewing it as an unacceptable result of a shallow society.
As a woman who primarily dates women, I may never experience the kind of relationship many heterosexual women find themselves in. Although women can be toxic too, in lesbian relationships there tends to be a sort of understanding. Both partners are shaped by the same society. They both understand the toxic messages that are thrown at women each day. This understanding often prevents a lot of toxic relationship issues from becoming a problem. Men never experience most of the issues women face. That means that in order to understand them, they must take time to learn. They must be patient. Not all men are willing to make an effort to do so, and that greatly saddens those of us who know that the effort is more than worth it.
The truth is, as girls who have fallen in love with other girls, we learn to love all women. We see the beauty and the intelligence in the ones we call ours, and soon we see bits of it in every girl we come across. We hurt when they hurt, and soon we find ourselves hurting for all the women who are in pain. We smile when they're happy, and we start to want every girl to experience that same happiness. We see their potential, and soon the potential of everybody else becomes visible too.
It hurts to watch him hurt you. It hurts to see the tears in your eyes, and to know that somebody you love so dearly had the audacity to cause these tears. When we see you accepting his cheating and lying, we would do anything to make you see that you're worth more than that. We see part of ourselves in you, and we see part of every girl we've ever loved in you, and we know that you deserve so much better. To have a woman love you is a privilege that so many men take advantage of. Do not let any man use your gifts against you. Never let him turn your kindness into guilt. Never let him turn your loyalty into slavery.
They say that for every man that won't treat you right, there's a girl that will. Well, there's a man that will too. This is not a plea for you to date women. It's not a request for you to give the other side a chance. It's a challenge. We challenge you all to see your worth, and the worth of the women around you. We challenge you to stand up for yourself and to love yourself. Most of all, we challenge you to never settle for anything less than love, because you deserve nothing less.
