An Open Letter To The Girl Dating My Ex | The Odyssey Online
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An Open Letter To The Girl Dating My Ex

You deserve to know the truth.

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An Open Letter To The Girl Dating My Ex
Katy Kuchler

You probably think I'm writing this letter because I still have feelings for him. I don't. My feelings ended as soon as I picked myself up and realized I deserved better. So, let me begin by saying this isn't a war, because I'm not fighting for him. I do, however, want to share my side of what happened, and offer you some advice.

I met your boyfriend a few days before New Years 2015. He and I were both on Plenty of Fish, and I was ecstatic that someone as cute as him would be interested in me. He was funny, sweet, charming, and he knew how to steal my heart. But I don't need to tell you that because he has yours.

Things were great. Even though he was in Colorado and I was in Indiana, we Skyped. We called, and we were officially dating. I could see him trying to tell you differently. There were plans to see one another. I tried to rearrange my life to fit into his, even to the point that I exclusively looked for internships in Denver for a period of time. Even though we only dated for a month and a half, he said "I love you" and that he wanted to marry me one day. Unfortunately, I believed him. I so badly wanted someone to love me, that I was willing to accept it from him, even though in hindsight, there were so many red flags.

Things went downhill around this time last year. He and I shared our faith in God. He wanted to make a movie, or a series of movies, on the Book of Revelations in the Bible. So, when God told me to tell him no to phone sex, to ask him to help me stay chaste, I listened. I thought of all people, he would understand that God came first in my life. He didn't. Or maybe he was using it as an excuse to end things because he had already found you. We tried to move past that fight, but he had the nerve to ask me if he could have a friend with benefits while still dating me. I share a lot of things, but not my man. Given the timing of when the two of you started dating (immediately after we finally broke up), I can only assume that you were the friend with benefits he wanted. Typically, if a guy is asking permission to sleep with another woman, he already has.

I don't blame you. For all I know, you're just another one of his victims. And, I don't want to hurt you. I don't even want to hurt him because I've moved on. But I do want you to know the truth. I know I would want to know if I was in your position, and if someone could've told me, I would've wanted them to. I probably wouldn't have believed them if they had, though. He hung the stars and the moon in my world.

I believe people change, but he hasn't. I know that because of the messages he's been sending me. I'll describe a few of them below, but if you want them, message me and I'll send them to you. I wouldn't suspect that you would take my word for it. After all, there are a ton of vindictive exes out there, but I promise you I am not one of them.

It all started a few weeks ago. He messaged me on Skype. It would be days between messages. I assume he was packing for San Francisco and spending a lot of time with you. Then, last week, he sent me a message saying he missed me. I sent him a text to find out what was going on. He sent me messages saying things like "Believe it or not, I still like you," "wish we could cuddle," "honestly, I've been thinking of you a lot" and "I'm sure sex between us would have been amazing," just to name a few. He asked if he could win me back. He even lied to me, saying that the two of you had broken up. I called him out on it. I'm a journalist; it's hard to pull the wool over my eyes.

I wish you the very best, with or without him. Though I don't know you, you seem nice, and I think you deserve better than some boy who wants to play games and sleep around. I know I do, and that's why I'll forever be thankful you unknowingly made him leave me for you, because I'm not sure I would have been strong enough to do it on my own.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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