To the friend I almost lost,

We've been through hell and back a million times. We survived one hundred and one fights, thousands of miles in between us, and then had communication battles and jealousy issues. In the end, I'm so glad it worked out, but almost losing you was one of the hardest things I've ever been through.

It felt like one day, we were inseparable, and we wouldn't even go five minutes without talking to each other and then all of a sudden, nothing. We were those best friends where you see one of them and you ask where the other one is because it's bizarre not seeing them together. We told each other our deepest fears, our biggest dreams, and our darkest secrets.

We were basically like sisters, your family was my family, and mine was yours. When you have a bond like that ripped from you it is heart-wrenching. It starts to feel like a piece of you is missing and the person you once told everything to is now just someone who used to hold your secrets. I'm not sure exactly what happened between us, but I know that it caused both of us a lot of pain.

It could have been that we both felt our friendship slipping away and falling apart. Being the passive-aggressive people that we are, we just pushed each other further away. We let the distance get to us and we just felt that because we were not involved in each other's everyday lives that we no longer had a place nor did we feel the need to communicate all day long. It could have been the jealousy.

When we both go to different colleges we are bound to make new friends, and that's really hard to watch from afar, but we both had to do it. I just think we lost touch on how strong our friendship was and we just let go.

At first I was in denial and I blamed you for everything. I was heartbroken and I couldn't understand why you would leave me. I let the anger, the sadness, and the jealousy push you away even further. I decided that you no longer needed me because you had all these new best friends, so why would you need your old one who couldn't be there at the drop of a hat?

So I stopped telling you about the events in my life; I went through some of the hardest times and I wanted to confide in you. I also went through the happiest of times and I didn't have you to rejoice with.

I was sad and I would cry a lot because I could feel a piece of myself slipping away but I never showed you that sadness, and maybe if I did things could have been different. The anger then consumed me and I decided that you no longer cared and it made me mad! I felt replaced and sometimes I even let myself believe that I hated you even when you didn't do anything.

I started to assume that you would cancel plans because you didn't have time for me, or that you wouldn't respond to my texts and phone calls. Then, I realized I was no longer putting in the effort either and I started to accept the fact that maybe we just wouldn't be friends anymore.

Just know even in all those days, weeks, and months that we were no longer speaking, I never stopped thinking about you and I never stopped missing you. With every social media post about an accomplishment or a hardship I just so wished that I would have been the one you told, but we were no longer soul sisters and we no longer told each other what we were doing that day, let alone the monumental moments.

I felt abandoned and so lost without you, it was really hard to adapt to a life without you. We may have boyfriends, our families, and even our other friends, but nothing will ever compare to the relationship that the two of us shared.

But then somehow it clicked. We both needed each other, as stubborn and as hard-headed as we are, we caved. We shared our feelings, we cried and talked it out because that is what needed to be done.

Rebuilding a broken friendship is really hard because you are both scared. Friends aren't supposed to break your heart, but that's what happened between us. But you know what, we survived. We are rebuilding, and I am so happy that I didn't have to lose a friend like you, because I don't think that you could ever be replaced.

In the end, I'm thankful for the heartache and for almost losing you, because it made me a stronger person and a better friend. It also made our friendship stronger because now we know that through the boyfriends, the distance, and all the drama, we will always have each other no matter what. I am a firm believer that people who are meant to be in your life will come back no matter how far they wander.

Sincerely,

Someone who is glad to have you back XO