Dear friend,
Thank you. It seems like a such inadequate phrase in the face of all that you’ve done. You are no super human. You are not invincible. In some ways or a lot of ways, you have problems of your own just like I do. Despite that, you took on a task that you didn’t ask for when you first met me. You have loved me through my depression.
Thank you for listening. You are not a professional who gets paid for every 30-minute session they spend sitting on a couch across from me as they listen to my “word vomit”. Yet there you were on the hard days sitting right next to me. You held my hand when I didn’t even know it was exactly what I needed. It was a silent reassurance that you weren’t going to let me walk through this alone.
Thank you for believing me. You might be thinking, “Why wouldn’t I believe someone when they’re clearly hurting?” The truth is that once upon a time I didn’t believe myself. Everything inside me told there me was something wrong. I was just too scared to face it and look it in the eye. But you saw it and, most of all, you saw me. You saw my pain and you spoke up. You’re the reason I was brave enough to get help.
Thank you for telling me I was strong enough. The biggest lie that I believed for so long is that having depression made me weak. I was struggling to get out of bed each morning. I was struggling to be okay. I was struggling. Period. That’s when you reminded me that the fact that I was struggling was a sign that I was fighting. For the first time, I started to believe I had strength in me all along.
Thank you for reminding me what joy feels like. I don’t always want to go out and interact with the world. There are days when I am closed off and I can’t be around anyone. When I do come out of my shell, there you are standing on the other side. Crowds still make me nervous but you’ve always been the friendly face in that crowd that makes me feel calm. Your stories, your jokes, your laugh and your sincere hugs are sometimes enough to make my whole week.
Thank you for loving me on the days when I didn’t know how to love myself. When you say things to me like “You are enough” or “None of this is your fault. You deserve to smile”, it goes a long way because I don’t often say things like that to myself. You taught me to stop picking on myself because no one has figured out how to do life perfectly. When I saw myself as broken pieces of glass, you adjusted my perspective. You dared to look at me like a stained-glass window—an assortment of pieces that qualify as art when the light shines through them. You taught me that just because I wasn’t always put together, didn’t mean I was broken.
Finally, I’d like to thank you for simply being a friend. You didn’t try to change me. You never tried to “fix” me. You never bothered trying to do either one because you were so focused on just loving me where I was at. You may think that, as my friend, it is no big deal that you love me but, in doing so, I believe you’ve saved my life.
For these things and for the person that you are,
Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
The One You Love.
Let's make one thing clear: I don't write pieces like this because it comes easily. It's hard to be this vulnerable knowing that people I know and strangers alike are reading this. Conversations about mental health are not easy to have but they need to be had. You don't always have to be a professional to be helpful. I've listed some resources that you can and should pass on to loved ones. No one chooses mental illness but choosing to reach out for help or learning how to help those who are suffering is a great step in the right direction.
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline :1-800-273-8255
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration treatment referral helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357). For more, go to SAMHSA's website for their Behavioral Health Treatment Locator
- Anxiety and Depression Association of America
- Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
- Mental Health America
- National Alliance on Mental Illness
- The Health Resources and Services Administration's website
- Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services
- A directory of health care practitioners which includes psychologists and therapists
- A list of related organizations where you can find more information
- Service members and veterans' mental health resources: a MentalHealth.gov page specifically for current and former military and their families
- National Institute of Mental Health
- To help you coordinate care for a loved one or for yourself, seek the help of a patient advocate.
All these resources are explained in full on http://phlabs.com/mental-illness-awareness-week
Pass it on. Save a life.
