You may or may not have heard her background story from friends. Maybe she mentioned to you that her last relationship didn’t end well. Or, maybe she didn’t have to say anything, but through her actions and attitude, you’re able to gather bits and pieces about her painful past. You know she’s an amazing girl and you know that you care about her, but you’re not sure if she’s entirely worth the extra effort you’re having to put into it all. What I’m asking you to do is this: be patient with the girl whose heart was broken before you came into her life. She’s worth it, I promise.
I know that you’re most likely having a harder time than most new couples would be having at this stage. In the new couple stage, you’re supposed to be getting to know all of the little things about each other that you didn't know before. It should be a time full of laughs, sleepovers, ice cream runs, spontaneous adventures, and new favorite shows on Netflix, not full of stubbornness, confusion, tears, or periods of silence. You're already having a hard time figuring out how your girlfriend is feeling, and that "butterflies whenever you see each other" phase isn't even over. Let me remind you: she is worth it.
SEE ALSO: What It's Like To Be Hesitant And Guarded
She isn’t used to feeling good enough. She’s used to feeling insecure, used, replaceable, and worthless from how her ex treated her.
She isn’t used to getting flowers or little presents just because. She’s used to getting flowers after each time he had cheated on her.
She isn’t used to feeling like she can cry or break down in front of someone. She isn't used to feeling like she can honestly express or communicate how she is feeling without being judged or called emotional. She's used to pretending that she's alright so that no problems would arise from her feelings. She's used to bottling in her true emotions so that he wouldn't accuse her of trying to start a fight over nothing.
She isn’t used to feeling like she can be herself in front of a boy that she cares about. She isn't used to feeling accepted for all that she is, the good and the bad. She’s used to feeling cautious, quiet, hesitant, and scared to be herself.
Right now, she’s most likely feeling like you’re too good to be true, that what you have together is too good to be true. She’s having trouble believing that a guy could do nice things just because he wanted to, and not to make up for something bad that he did. It will take time. It will take patience. It will take courage to pursue a woman who has been heartbroken before, but know that it makes her that much more worth it.
Her giving you a chance is a much bigger deal than you might think. It was you that changed her mind about love existing. Despite being hurt by someone before you, she has decided that she’s willing to risk being hurt again because of you. Because she sees something incredible and amazing inside of you. You are the first person she has been open to trying again with, and that says something about you and your character. She's still learning how to trust again, so while she's doing that, trust me in telling you she's worth the extra time, the hugs, the trying to understand moments. She's worth it all, so just be patient.
