Growing up with an absent father is a hard thing to deal with; It's something that affects you for the rest of your life.
No matter how hard you try to wrap your mind around it, you never understand why. No matter how hard it may be at times, there are always things to remember:
1. You are loved
Most importantly on this list, you are so loved.
You never needed him for that confirmation. You have people all around you who love you; that stepped up to the plate, to fill the shoes he never stepped in.
Uncles, grandfathers, and stepfathers; who chose to be the dads they didn't have to be, but the dads they wanted to be.
And, most importantly, the single mothers who had to play both roles of a mom and a dad. The bottom line is, there are people all around you to give you the love you never had to miss out on.
2. It isn't your fault
People who are truly hurting inside will always hurt others. It's no excuse for someone to hurt you, but it's truly because they have their own problems.
He chose to leave; ultimately, his leaving wasn't about you, it was about him. You should never blame yourself. He missed out on being a father, one of the greatest things life has to offer; For that, he'll always be the miserable one.
3. You aren't a bad person for cutting off all contact
The old saying "Once bitten and twice shy" is right for every reason. You should never feel bad for pulling back.
When someone hurts you, they shouldn't get to act like they didn't. He'll keep coming back into your life like nothing is even wrong, only to exit once again. It's the same routine, and it gets so tiresome.
The older you get, the more you start to realize how to guard your heart; You start to see that It just isn't worth it anymore, to hold onto someone who is only temporary, not permanent.
You should not have to beg your father for a relationship.
4. Forgive, but don't forget
Lastly, forgive him for all of the hurt he caused, don't hold onto a grudge.
It doesn't make you any better, in the long run, it just weighs you down. Don't let it harden your heart and make you bitter.
Instead, thank him. He only showed you what not to do, and who not to be. I know it's so hard to forgive someone who isn't even sorry, but it will set you free; you don't have to be burdened by the mistake he made.
