I believe it's fair enough to say that it hasn't been easy. The absence of you has hurt more and more every day and each day I would wake up wondering when my chest wasn’t going to feel heavy from missing you. I would wake up and think how he is, is he healthy, is he sick, did he sleep well, or was he up all night thinking about how/what made this happened.

I was bitter. I'm going to just put that out there. I was so bitter, I was bitter at the way you would hang out with other girls and start spending time with other people, that weren’t me. I was bitter that you made it look so easy to just move on and act like I never existed. I was bitter because I was sitting here hurting, and you seemed fine.

It has been a long hard road, I can honestly say that.

I can look back three months ago and if you asked me about the day we broke up and what that day was like, I would have said it was the worst day of my life, my heart came out of my chest that day and I never thought it was coming back. I was bitter, hurt, confused, and had so much hatred in my heart towards you.

Now, when people ask me about the day we broke up I say, it was terrible I have never hurt so badly, but it was an experience I would never regret going through.

It taught me how strong I was, it taught me that I can be strong and get through days I never thought I could ever get through. It taught me to have hope, have hope that I can do things that I never thought I could do. It taught me to have faith, to have faith that I would stay strong and get through the day without losing focus. It taught me how to handle a broken heart.

You see, you taught me how to love, a type of love I didn't know how to do before we met. You taught me to love fully and with my whole heart. When I met you I was done with all the half-hearted nonsense, I wanted something so real, and you gave me that.

It took me awhile to realize all the good things you gave me, it also took me awhile to no longer be bound to the bitterness of losing you.

You see it took me awhile to realize that not everything is supposed to become beautiful and long lasting, even if that's what we wanted. I finally realized that people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love, to make you feel better for a little while. I realized that not everyone is going to stay forever, and you have to keep going on and thank them for what they give you.

Before you, I had thoughts about what true love was like, I had thoughts of how I was going to experience it my first time. I had thoughts if it would completely destroy me, and it did for a little while, but what I have learned and what you have given me I am forever thankful for.

What I hope for him is that he finds someone so much better than me in every single way, because if I wasn't right for him I know somebody is perfect for him.

Because I do love him, I did love him a lot & if you're dating someone you probably love them a lot too.

So instead of being bitter, instead of being jealous, instead of being angry, want what's best for them.

Respect that you were in a relationship you broke up and it was terrible it was sad but you can’t run from that, you have to face the consequences of being in the relationship and take what you learned from that relationship and move on.

My advice to whoever is reading this is to never regret something that once made you happy. When a breakup is “fresh” it’s hard, it’s so hard, trust me I know. It’s like a wound you keep picking at and it will never heal unless you give it the time and the space it needs. I know what it’s like to go to a place you use to eat and you sit down and that’s all you can think about. I know what it’s like to hear a song you use to sing on the radio and you instantly get sick to your stomach. I know what it's like to see him hanging out with other girls that aren't you, I know it’s hard.

It's hard to not feel hatred and disgust against someone when they give you all these negative feelings, but hate and regret are never the answer. It only makes it harder for you in the long run. Step back and learn from this experience and all these feelings, be glad that you were given the opportunity to feel this way. Yes, it's hard, so hard, and yes it sucks, but I promise you in the long run it will be easier once you realize you’re never going to move on unless you really let go of the past and are no longer bound by bitterness, of past relationships.

It’s hard but be willing to close that door and move on to the next chapter in your life.

It took me a good three months to realize this but when I finally took the last step that I needed to do and close that chapter of my life I was able to take the things I learned and the experiences from that relationship and was able to move on.

Don’t get me wrong he will always have a piece of my heart, what he gave me I am forever thankful for. I will always cherish the love we shared, and the piece of my heart that he will forever have.

We thought we had a “forever thing,” when we realized that wasn’t what God had in mind for us, it was hard but it was so worth it. The pain and everything else that came along with loving him, it was worth it.