Dear Enabler,
Yes, you. The one who cares so deeply that you can't get your head out of your butt long enough to realize your worth. The one who keeps giving and giving and giving to only those that take and take and take. This isn't your life, it's theirs. They will take from you until you have nothing to give and then take some more. These people only care what you can give to them, they are so stuck in their own demise that they can't see the err in their ways. They believe they deserve all that they are getting even though they abuse you, steal from you, lie to you, treat you like crap and are just awful people. They believe that their love should be enough to carry you through. But is that the love you want? Is it the love you think you deserve?
Enabler, you work hard to get the little bit that you get and they don't care if you can't pay your bills as long as they are reaping the bennies. They throw guilt trip after guilt trip to show you how they make your life better so you feel so low that you just give in. That is your strength...giving in. There is no middle ground, it's all or nothing. The person you care for is a leech. There is nothing positive that comes from your struggle, just someone to put before yourself and feel crappy about it.
I know the scene all too well, you plead and cry, you feel strong for a few minutes and then immediately go back on how you feel because you don't want the other person to be mad, hurt you, or worse. You stand your ground for a few and then it's by the wayside. Then you're back at square one! Enabler, do you like being at square one? Do you like to put your family last? Do you dislike yourself so much that you just give up and don't care what your life turns into?
What is the reasoning behind your addiction? Because you are addicted. Addicted to ill behavior. The silver-lining is that you can get through this. You can get your life back, you can get your mentality back. However, you have to make those steps. Like the person you tend to, you have to want to make a change and do it. You have to realize that the stuff you work for is yours and it's earned. You have to see your self worth. You have to love yourself more than you do the other person. You have to accept that they are not in their right minds and let them be. You have to let them go. Realize you did all you could for them and in the long run did not help their situation. You giving them all you had put you both in a bad position. You let them wreck themselves at the cost of your salary, and you may have lost something important to you.
Enabler, please wake up before you lose everything. Please wake up before it's too late for you and you have no one or nothing left to show for the life you had. Before you are in the position that they are, just stop! You can do this. You can conquer your demons and be the better version of yourself. You just have to!
