Dear Dad,
Congratulations, you have a child-- a child who did great things without you. A child who learned quickly what a man was not supposed to be like. A child who never understood why you are the way you are. A child who just wanted to be enough for you, who wanted you to put her first and give her your time and energy. A child who would do anything to make you proud at one point in time. A child that was ashamed to tell anyone at a young age that her dad was not really around because he was an alcoholic and too caught up in himself.
Congratulations for missing every little event in our life. Even if it was not really important to you, it was probably important to me. Thank you for disappointing me more times than I can count and giving me every false hope I could ever think of in my life. Thank you for showing me at a young age that I should never get my hopes up too high because someone might be right there to crush them. Unfortunately for you, because you missed basically everything from athletic events, honor awards, graduation and seeing your child off to college, you do not get to brag about me and you really have no right to even consider it. I hope you are proud of me because everything I am doing is to show you that I did great things and accomplished my big dreams without you. I hope you realize how great of a kid you missed out on getting to know and seeing me grow into the person I am today.
And most importantly, out of anything you have taught me, you taught me that I should never rely on a man because I do not need one to take care of me.
Even though you put me through a nightmare every time I would let you back into my life while you would just tear me down, I forgive you. I do not forgive you to make you happy because, honestly, it is hard to justify making you happy. I forgive you for myself because I do not want to hate you. I do not want to look back on my life and have any regrets because I believe in a life without regrets. I forgive you to make myself feel better knowing that I can move on with my life without taking that baggage with me. I will continue seeing you periodically, but know that I did not forget anything; I just forgave you.
I remember some of the good times, but mostly the bad and the times that really destroyed me inside. Now I can let those times go. I can leave it all behind because I forgive you. I forgive you for all the disappointment you brought into my life, for all the anxiety, for feeling worthless, the tears and the fights you have brought. I forgive you for never being there when I needed a dad and I forgive you for not being a true father figure in my life.
From,
Your Child
