Dear boy who was too scripted,
When you told me I broke your heart and you felt as if you might never love again, I felt sad, but I couldn't help but wonder if those were your words, or more words you got off the internet. When I say that you felt too scripted, I mean that I literally felt as if every word you ever spoke to me wasn't coming from you, but coming from some "relationship goals" post you saw on Twitter or Facebook.
For starters, I'm horrible in relationships. They scare me because of how easily people lie, deceive and how even the strongest relationships seem to fail. With you, though, I decided to give it a try. At first I was pleasantly surprised, you were nice, sweet and treated me more than decently, but that seemed to only last for about the first five minutes.
You asked me over and over again why I only seemed to remember and bring up the bad things, i.e., you cheating on me, talking to other girls or talking badly about me to your friends, instead of remembering the good things. My only response to that is this: I'm pretty sure I could find any sweet thing you ever said to me in a post on the internet somewhere, whereas the awful things you did to me seemed to come from the real you.
You wanted a fairly tale romance, and I wanted something real. I didn't realize what "real" was until I got into my current relationship. I now know that real is goofy and funny. Real is actually saying what's on your mind when I ask instead of simply just saying "you're on my mind," because you think it's what I want to hear. Real isn't forcing someone to put a #MCM up of you every Monday so you can feel validated *eye roll*. Real is telling your significant other when you're getting tired of their crap, instead of romanticizing the bad in relationships. Real is being able to spend time apart without clinging. Real is being in the same room and just enjoying it without having to constantly be touching or talking.
On the outside we looked like a perfect and happy couple, but on the inside I was slowly dying. Real is appearing on the outside exactly what you are on the inside. Real is honesty, not convenient lies.
In the end of our relationship you wrote one of those "to the one who loves her next.." notes that I frequently see on twitter or instagram, and the reason it didn't touch my heart, is because I felt as if it was almost copied word for word off of another post. You called me selfish for breaking up with you, you called me names, and you tried to guilt trip me into staying. So, I've finally decided to write a note for you.
Real is being best friends first, and lovers second (naturally, not forced). Real is using actions to show love, not just words. Real is admitting to mistakes. Real is unscripted. Real is what I wanted, and I'm sorry for you that you didn't know how to just be yourself.
Best wishes,
Me
