To the boy who didn't want me,

Ah, where to begin?

I could go about this so many ways. There's:

How could you do this to me?

You hurt me.

I thought we had something great.

You're an a**hole.

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

Why did you choose her?

Why?

And all of those are plausible. I've had these thoughts go through my brain countless times, because let's face it, there have been plenty of other guys beside you that it just hasn't worked out with. And most of the time, they, yourself included, always chose other girls over me. It came to the point where I thought that there was something wrong with me. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't I keep you around? Why were all these other girls better than me in some way?

I struggled for a long time with insecurity, mostly because I was trying to find my worth in boys like you. And most of the time, I knew before anything started that it wouldn't last, because I have a track record for picking some pretty awful guys. Yet I still continued to pursue you, a boy who would treat me how you saw me: a disposable girl who was naive and willing to give out second chances because I thought you were "different."

We live in a society where we value romantic relationships as the ultimate goal. If a person hasn't had a serious relationship by the time she's 18, there are those who would assume something is "wrong" with her, and it only gets worse as we get older. So you can imagine how distraught I was when you didn't want me. My self-worth was at an all time low, and it ate away at me. I became so self-conscious of my body, my personality, my interests, etc. I was so unhappy with myself because you didn't want me. I thought that my worth was determined by someone like you, a boy who didn't know what he wanted and wasn't ready to commit.

Looking back, I see how unbelievably stupid and silly that seems.

A piece of literature, though, changed my life. Stephen Chbosky's "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" holds a quote that reads, "We accept the love we think we deserve," and there is so much truth in that. Our society doesn't put value in self-worth and teaches us that we must find our other half to be complete. But that's not true; not even in the slightest sense.

And so now you know why you were able to toss me around like a rag doll and get away with it. Now you know why you were able to not commit and have your fun and still be able to get me to blush when you told me I was pretty. I thought that you were as good as I was going to get, because I thought I needed to be completed by you, so I allowed a lot of bullsh*t.

Thankfully, those days are long gone.

I discovered self-love, and that I needed to love myself before anyone could love me wholly. And how could I love anyone fully if I couldn't even love myself? I did a lot of soul searching, and one of the most important lessons I learned is that a boy like you is not up for the job of loving me. I deserve a man who knows who he is, what he stands for, and ultimately what he wants from life.

And so, even when I look back on my life and cringe at the memories of you and I, how stupid you made me feel, I will be grateful for the times I accepted less. Because now, the person I am today knows that I will never do that again. I would rather be by myself and happy than be disrespected and degraded by the treatment of a boy like you. I'm done with your games, and I'm onto bigger and better things.

I look forward to the day that this letter will no longer apply to you; truly I wish you happiness in life. I also look forward to the day where you realize how your actions have affected others, and how the woman you end up with has been put through the same games by another boy. And I hope it is then that you realize how much you have impacted me, and no doubt other girls.

I'm grateful we didn't waste each others time, because we have people out there who are going to give us the love we deserve. I cannot blame you for not being able to love me the way you're meant to love another, but I hope that by reading this letter, you realize that regardless of your feelings, or lack there-of, there is a way to treat people, and you have a lot to learn.

Sincerely,

The girl you didn't want, who realized she didn't need you.