Dear Ass-Face,

Hey! What’s up? How’ve you been? I haven't seen you in a while. I would apologize for not reaching out to you, but to be completely honest, I would rather get my wisdom teeth taken out without Novocaine than ever see you again.

You may be wondering why, I mean when you were dating my best friend we had some good times! We made memories, laughed a ton, and it was all dandy and fine. But you see, now that you made the decision to throw away potentially the only relationship in your life that you had yet to corrupt with your mad attitude and mood-swings, I really don't find your friendship too appealing.

I don't really like to associate myself with people that I consider bad decision makers, and you, my friend, hold the crown title of "Worst Decision Maker Of All Time." Not only did you start dating a girl that looks like a pixelated copy and paste version of my best friend, but you decided that the best time for you two to get together was while you were still dating her.

Now I'm sure your friends gave you a nice pat on the back, you all laughed about how you're a “Ladies' Man” and you have “two girls at once," but the reality is that it makes you the biggest jackass I know.

Here’s the thing dude, you and I got along pretty well; I was there when you met the parents, I was your cover for your little rendezvous, and you even came to my home. But despite all of those good times, they aren't what I remember.

I remember what it was like hugging her in my kitchen as she sobbed because you wouldn't respond to her text and told her that you needed space for no god damn reason.

I remember thinking about how awful you treated her the night you wouldn't kiss her goodbye because you were “too tired."

I remember washing dishes with her and she told me about how she feared you because you were like an emotionally ticking time bomb, and could explode at any minute.

I remember her making me sit in a specific room of my house because last time she sat there you two were in a good place and she hoped it would bring that luck back again.

I remember her crying because you had been speaking to another girl and refused to stop despite the fact you had a fucking girlfriend.

I remember when you got mad at her for lying to her parents even though it was her only way of seeing you.

I remember 2:00AM phone calls full of tears and sighs, discussing how she would handle it if you were to leave her.

I remember the day when she called me and said the words “We’re done. He cheated on me.”

So as far as “Nice-Guys” go, you may think that you “won” but you're actually the biggest loser of them all. Oh! and newsflash bud! “It is what is is…” isn't the proper way to end a relationship of two years. She put so much effort into it and all you did was take. You took her for granted, and you took the place as her first love, and that wasn't yours to steal.

You pushed her to the limit and she never wavered. Her fear was always you leaving her, and not for one second did she consider leaving you. She put up with you for years. Your excessive jealousy and your obsession with making her jealous are just two examples of how undeniably twisted the relationship was. She cared, and at times, you did too. It wasn't all bad. There were moments in which she told me that she was on cloud nine.

You were a drug that came with much too high highs and much too low lows.

You were always nice to me. Never rude, never unkind in any way, so I'm sure you're curious as to why I hold such a negative perception of you... But what you seem to not understand, is that when a guy treats your best friend like a doll that he can control, and then winds up throwing it out when he finds a new one, no longer has my respect.

You may not care. I’m sure you couldn't give two shits about what I think of you and that’s okay. The feeling’s mutual. But, there is no way in hell that you don't care about how she’s doing. After a relationship like yours, I'm sure you're curious to know how she's “holding up." Well, I’m not going to lie, she was hurting. There were bad days. She was devastated for awhile. After a week of being upset, she got sick of it. She got sick of the thought of you. She was sulking over someone that didn't deserve her, so she stopped.

Now? Well, now she's stronger. She’s smarter. She doesn't only have clearer skin, but a clearer mind. Her hair and patience have also been shortened. She doesn't take shit. She learned from you. She knows the way she deserves to be treated now. She has good friends. She stopped worrying so much about other people. She realized that her life was more a story about her, rather than the two of you. She’s taking care of herself. Since she has stopped relentlessly trying to please you, she has started to please herself. She has delved more into her interests and is figuring out who she is. She is happy. She is better now than ever before.

I want to thank you for that. For helping my best friend improve herself, by showing her what not to tolerate.

There isn't a day that goes by where she doesn't think about you, but they are no longer thought bubbles of admiration, but pity. You lost her. You lost the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you. You lost the one person that loved you more than you loved yourself, and I hope you know that.

So, I hope you're happy. I do. I wish you all the best. I want you to live a life of satisfaction. I hope you and whomever you're with now is happy. But what I really wish for you, is that you realize what you missed out on.

Remember that it ain't easy being a peasant when you’ve held the crown.

Yours Truly,

Caroline