To The Girl That I Thought Would Always Be By My Side,

You were the first friend that I had who I could honestly consider my best friend. The girl that I knew I could trust with my deepest, darkest secrets (not that the 14-year-old version of myself had very many of those, but still). We did everything together from the second that we met before my freshman year of high school had even started. And despite the fact that we didn't grow up side by side with families who did everything together, you were my stereotypical, movie-worthy best friend. And, then, after high school as we both went off on our different tracks, our friendship just...stopped.

I won't harp on all of the details or try to play the blame game. That would be pointless, because in my eyes, you abandoned me, but from your point of view? We just drifted apart. But, I'm also not going to sit here and thank you for leaving me behind as you went on with your new life, forgetting about everybody from your past. Thanking you for that and trying to find that good always comes off as slightly bitter-sweet to me, as if it's a passive aggressive attack.

Instead, I'm going to thank you for everything that you did for me in the four years that I had the privilege of calling you my best friend.

You forced me from my comfort zone and demanded that I take some risks. You refused to allow me make it through high school without making some memories beyond Friday night sleepovers, frozen yogurt runs and pre-movie trips to Moes. Instead, on top of our sleepovers, fast food dinners and trips to the movies, we went to night clubs as soon as we turned eighteen. We had camp outs, attended music festivals and spent days on the beach. We played mini-golf, went bowling and even went to a party or two (it was way more than that).

You had a way of making something as typical as a midnight trip to Taco Bell exciting. Nothing was ever just what it was. There was always a little dash of excitement to it. Even heading off-campus for lunch was an adventure when I was with you and not just because of your questionable driving skills.

You were my biggest fan. Every time I did anything that I could be proud of, you were there to cheer me on. You bragged about me nonstop to everybody else in your life. And because of that, I came to have a confidence that I never had before you. So, thank you for that-for making me believe in myself.

And thank you to your family as well, for accepting me as one of their own. To your mom, for never minding whenever I crashed on the couch because we stayed up too late watching movies. To your grandparents, who drove me to school whenever I'd sleep over on a weeknight after you'd graduated, so that you could sleep in. Thank you to your younger sister, for being the little sister I always wanted. And thank you to your dad for always having my favorite bagels at the ready when I slept over.

Being a grade ahead of me, you took me under your wing. I wouldn't have been prepared for high school the way that I was without you by my side. Seriously, every time I was afraid of something, you talked me off the ledge.

And I want to thank you for teaching me how to do that for others because now, I have a new best friend. You know her, of course. The three of us used to be a trio, of sorts. But, now, it's just her and me, the two that you left behind. But, I was there to support her through everything. Every time she excelled at something, I was the one cheering her on the loudest.

The difference between you and I is evident there because, while I moved on from high school and made my way through my first year of college, I didn't leave her behind while she finished off her senior year. And I won't be leaving her to fend for herself during her freshman year of college the way that I was, either. Instead, I'm going to be right there, the way that I wish you had been for me.

I guess, looking back at it now, our friendship was slightly one-sided. At least, looking at it from this way, at least. But, looking back on it at all, I notice a lot of things that seem different than they felt back then. Maybe I was so diluted by our friendship and how happy I was in the heat of the moment that I was blind to any of the flaws. Or, maybe, now that it's over, I'm just trying to find some sort of sign that could have predicted this coming.

Either way, the friendship ended. I'll always be there for you and I hope that you'll always be there for me as well. I'll support you whenever you reach rock bottom because I'm always going to think of you as a friend.

And I will never forget the lessons that you taught me or the changes that you caused. I'll always be grateful for you, for all that you did for me in those short, few years. And I hope that, if you're reading this, that you remember our friendship and look back on all of the things I did for you with the same gratitude that I feel for you.

Love always,

The Girl You Left Behind