Dear softball,

I just wanted to thank you for 10 years of determined, fun, dirty, hard work. I know I haven’t played you in over a year but I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate all you gave me.

Ever since I was little, I wanted to play baseball. It was something that a five-year-old me (a girl, by the way) was weirdly passionate about. When I was about five or six, my parents signed me up for T-Ball. I loved T-Ball so much; I looked forward to going to it every week. I was one of the few girls on the team, but that did not stop me from doing something I loved.

When I moved to Stoughton the following year, I still wanted to play baseball. My parents signed me up for little league baseball. I was the only girl on the team. This was a very weird time for me. The good thing about little league is that everyone gets to play so even though I was not the best, I still played.

The next year, my world changed. I found out about the softball program in my town. I had not even known softball existed. Getting to play with all girls made me feel more comfortable because being with all guys was really out of my comfort zone.

From third grade until twelfth grade, I dedicated every spring to softball, going to all of the practices, games, etc. I tried pretty much every position, but there was one that I always held close to my heart: pitcher.

Pitching was something I grew very passionate about since my first day of softball. I knew I was not the best pitcher in the game, but I was not the worst, and that was good enough for me. As the years went by, my skills developed. My pitching got faster as I moved up in the divisions.

When I made the freshman softball team, I had never felt so accomplished about something before. It was all I had hoped for when I was in elementary and middle school. Getting to wear the Stoughton jersey was something I had worked so hard for.

As high school went by, I felt my skills continue to improve. I was playing in every game and bettering myself both physically and mentally.

When my senior year of high school came around, my dream of being on varsity came true. However, I knew I was not the most skilled player on the team, so I am still not sure if I got on the team because of my abilities or just because I was a senior. This is where I ran into trouble.

I was so used to playing in every game when I was on the freshman and junior varsity teams, I somehow expected that it would continue for varsity. I was very wrong. I did not take into consideration when I signed up that varsity was more focused on winning rather than letting everyone play, so I spent my season primarily on the bench. This really hurt my self-esteem because I had put so much time into this sport and I felt that I was not being treated fairly. Yes, I was not the best player, but I did not think I deserved to be on the bench all of the time. I was capable of doing things just like everyone else, so it was a very difficult situation to deal with.

It got to a point where I considered quitting because I was wasting my time sitting on a bench watching everyone else play when I could have been working and making money. I went to every practice, but I just was not good enough to be in the game. My experience on varsity ruined my love for the sport and since then I have had no desire to play ever again.

Softball, I wanted to thank you for all the years you were an outlet for me. You gave me the platform to play a sport. I wish we ended things on a better note, but we cannot change the past. Softball, you had given me so much confidence and pride when I needed it most and I just wanted to thank you.