Dear ex high school best friend:

I want to start by saying thank you. Thank you for all the memories and laughs and always being my shoulder to cry on. We had a good 10 years. We went through it all together: elementary school, middle school and high school. We survived all the awkward stages of life together and leaned on each through heartbreaks and all the new challenges life constantly threw at us. You were my go-to when life got hard. Everyone knew we came as a package deal no matter where we went or what we did. You were part of the family. My parents considered you one of their own.

But most importantly, I want to say thank you for showing me that despite what I thought, I could survive without you. And I have. You showed me what kind of friend I deserved and all those times you made fun of me and put me down and dis-included me, you weren't joking and you did mean it even though you claimed you didn't. We made a promise that we wouldn't let drama or rumors or the distance between us when we went off to college come between us. But it did. Without hesitation you threw 10 years of friendship down the drain. Thank you for that, though. Because while you were hurting my feelings and shaming me for "the bad friend" you claimed I turned out to be, my college friends were the ones there for me. People always told me that more than likely I wouldn't remain friends with anyone from high school. I never believed them though because I thought a bond of 10 years couldn't be broken. They said I'd meet my real friends in college. And they were right. My roommates went from strangers to family and in two years they have proven to be better friends than I could've ever imagined having. They have treated me better in two years than you ever had in 10 years.

Also, thank you for being that girl that leaves her "best friends" for the "cool girls" in college. We also promised we'd never be those girls. And quite honestly I never thought you would be. But you changed once you got to college and you became that girl. You said you'd call me and text me all the time. But you didn't. You said we'd keep in touch and share all of our experiences. But we didn't. And I gave you the benefit of the doubt because I was busy and I figured so were you. We counted down the days until our first break because we were so excited to see each other. But that's when everything changed. We saw each other twice. In a month and half. Twice. You had lots of free time. I saw you out with your boyfriend and your other friends who inevitably you chose over me every time. But I didn't say anything. I pretended I didn't know and I didn't care. But I knew our friendship was ending. You weren't the same girl whose arms I cried in the night before I left for college. You weren't the same girl who would answer my texts at 3:00 a.m. when I needed you. You weren't the girl who I told everything to anymore. At first it broke me. I tried so hard to apologize and become your friend again but you wanted nothing to do with me. And I couldn't understand why. We were both to blame for the fight. We both said things we didn't mean. But we had plenty of those petty little fights over the years and none of them were worth losing a friend over. But for some reason you couldn't get past this one and to you, cutting me out of your life was easier than swallowing your pride and apologizing. You were always known to hold grudges but I didn't think you could or would with me. It was like I was going through a break up. But worse.

It's been two years now since we've hung out or talked. And I've finally come to terms with it. You were a big part of my life and I'll never forget all the memories we've made. But if it weren't for you treating me like crap and putting me second, I would've never known what it was like to be treated right and to be put first by a friend. I would've accepted the way you treated me and made excuses for it. But I now know that isn't how a real friend should treat you. A real friend treats you with respect and is honest and loyal and never leaves you out. A real friend is there for you at any time of the day and always builds you up and never tears you down. A real friend knows that there will be times that they will mess up and times when I will mess up but that no matter how big or small of a mistake either one of us makes, it is not worth losing a friendship over. A real friend wants to see you succeed and loves you for who you are. In fact, they celebrate your quirks and imperfections with you. They don't make you feel bad about yourself. But most importantly, a real friend is a person who will never leave your side no matter what and stays true to their word. So thank you for showing me that everything I thought you were is everything you're not.

Sincerely,

Your ex best friend