Dear Ex-Bestfriend,
Our friendship suddenly ending is something I have struggled with for a long time. I never quite knew how to put into words what I felt ... until now.
Our friendship was long. We were considered sisters by everyone that knew us. We were hardly ever seen without each other. I still consider it one of the greatest friendships I have ever had. But all great things must come to an end.
The ending was sudden, sad, and filled with anguish. You lied to me, and betrayed my trust, yet I have chosen to forgive. But you have chosen to forget.
It took a very long time for me to accept the fact that I had done nothing wrong, yet you did not want to be friends with me anymore. I fell into a dark place. I questioned all the friendships I still had. I feared the confrontation that would happen if I ever ran into you. I often wondered if we would acknowledge each other if we ever did ever run into one another. I couldn't, and still can't, wrap my head around the fact that you were in the wrong, and I was left to suffer.
I learned quite a bit about myself and other friendships from ours ending.
Although we do not talk anymore, I want to thank you for lying to me for months. Before our falling out, I never realized that some friendships will end in high school. I always had assumed that everyone I entered high school with would always be my friend. It taught me to build my walls up, and not let just anyone in. I do not trust easily anymore, which may be for the better.
After our friendship ended, I often blamed myself. I wondered what I could have done differently, so that we could still be friends. It caused me to blame myself for any problem I have had with anyone since. It's a problem I still struggle with. Yet looking back on the time that this friendship ended, I can clearly see that us not being friends was not my fault. I did nothing wrong, and I am a great friend. I've had to realize that I am enough, and if you don't think I am good enough to be your friend anymore, that is not my problem.
Without our friendship ending, I would not be the person I am today. I've grown stronger. I have a better sense of self. I've become more social now that I am not spending all of my time with you. I have also learned a lot about forgiveness. Sometimes it is important to forgive to get closure; one thing I was never able to get from our falling out. I suppose it is better that it ended when it did, even though sometimes I have to wonder if we would have still been as close as we were before your lie was exposed.
I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that God knows what is best for me (and you too). Odds are, if our friendship didn't fall apart four years ago, it would have eventually. You hurt me. I'll even go so far as to say that you broke me. Not by your lie, but the fact that you just stopped talking to me. I tried to maintain the friendship, you simply could not have cared less. It has taken a long time, but I am finally OK. Actually, I am better than OK. I am happy.
If you are reading this, I forgive you. I wish you the best in life, and I will still be here for you, if you ever were to need me.
Love,
An Old Friend
