Remember when we talked about being married? It’s crazy to think about how long we went on thinking we were soulmates. For so long, I thought you were the one. The one I was meant to spend my entire life with, build a life with, father my children and grow old alongside. You run through my head every day. There are endless memories jumbled up in my head, and they just can’t seem to find their way out. There are quite a bit of things I want you to know. I’m happy. I want you to be happy, too. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing —I want that for you more than anything. We had a rocky relationship. It wasn’t perfect because nothing and nobody is. Even though we managed it, we know we’re better off without each other. Think about this: if we were that happy with each other yet not right for each other, just imagine how happy we will be when the right person does come along. I can’t wait. I’m excited for the day I meet my real forever. I can only hope that when that day comes you will be happy for me. When it does, I’ll be ecstatic.

I want you to know that I’m glad you were a part of my life. I could never delete you out of my memory box. You are a part of me. Though it hurts that you’ve deleted me, I will always remember you. I’ve learned from you. I know God placed you in my life for a reason. God never messes up our plans, and you were intentionally a part of mine. I spent a long time loving you. Yes, it hurts. It still hurts. It's been seven months, and I just took the old clothes you gave me to goodwill a few days ago. I wish it didn't after all this time. God is in the process of mending me. I know God will continue to mend me. We almost spent forever together. However, we would have been settling; nobody wants that. With that, I want to say thank you. Thank you for not settling with me. I know there is someone out there for you who is made for you. They will treat you better than I ever did.

There is good that came out of this. Now that I’m alone, I know who I am. I spent a long time learning about myself. I realized I spent too long changing for other people and pretending to be someone else. It took a painful breakup and being on my own for a while to find myself. Actually, I found God. God showed me who I am through Him. Ultimately, I’ve never been more grateful to be on my own. Yes, it gets old sometimes. It can be lonely. In the end, I’m glad. I’m glad because I know we will each find our true forever. You’ll be there the whole time, in my heart, but each day you fall deeper into the back of my head. As you fall deeper, it allows more room for me to grow. I'm writing this for closure. Closure for myself and for you, and for everyone else who knows how I'm feeling and can say this: You will always be my first love. But I can’t lie, I’m extremely excited for the day I find my real love. I’m excited for you to find that, too.