Dear Boys/Men (or whatever you prefer to call yourselves),

I’ve met a lot of you in my short lifespan, but I’ve come to learn a few things about you all. Now, of course you are all different and ~unique~ in your own special ways, but I’ve noticed a some things you guys have in common.

First, I’d like to start out with how some of you honestly have no idea how to fold your clothing or clean your rooms. Seriously. The amount of times I’ve walked into a boy's room and have seen socks, underwear, t-shirts, used paraphernalia (actually nasty), dirty sheets (literally what have you been doing) and random ties is ridiculous. Please, for all of us girls that actually have to sleep in your rooms on (special) occasions, clean that up. I know I have a messy room sometimes but seriously, there is a smell.

Next we're going to discuss a very, very, very important topic: if you don't like what a girl is wearing and you are not her best friend/roommate/sister/cousin/mother/aunt/dog, you have no right to comment on it. Also, compliment her anyway. Even if you think it is the ugliest thing you have ever seen, she's probably spent hours (or five minutes like me, but who's counting) and cares about how she looks, so let her strut her stuff. Absolutely no comments about the boobs either guys, it gets really old really fast. Yeah, compliment me, but don't get weird about it.

Never, ever ask a girl to chill. That is the most un-chill thing a guy could ever say and frankly, it's just annoying. If I am laughing or talking loud or using arm gestures, it's not because I'm not chill, it's because that's actually the way I speak and if you can't handle that, you can walk away. Sorry for being so ~aggressive~ but really, when have you ever asked a girl to chill and she's responded with, "Oh, ok. Anything for you. I'm so sorry." Never, and if you have, keep that girl because she probably is insanely chill, but I still think a little crazy is better than completely "chill."

We're almost done, boys, don't worry. This topic is very near and dear to my heart and it's called "just because we text you first or ask you to hang out does not mean we want to marry you or meet your parents." We're literally here for exactly what you're here for: hookups and no attachments. Ok, if the situation is you went to camp with this girl for years and fell in love and broke up and came to college and she's annoying the -ish out of you then fine, don't respond, but most girls really are just there because well, we have needs too.

Lastly, whoever told you that nice guys finish last has some major issues. Honestly, I understand the fascination with "mean" guys, they play hard to get and that's sexy (I guess), but you are never going to date that girl you're mean to, you're never going to marry her, and frankly the sex might not even be good considering your relationship/hookup-ship began with a rude comment. YGG for those of you who are into that adequate stuff but honestly, go find some nice girl to hang out with and who knows, maybe she'll be the one to break the ~nice~ guy curse.

Anyway, bros, men, amigos, guys, dudes, fam, gentlemen, I know this might've sounded like I'm hating on you, but girls have our issues too. We can be clingy and annoying and loud and narcissistic and weird, but if you want to be in our lives, for however long of a time, try to stand by these standards and PLEASE don't think it's ok to leave your dirty boxers or the girl from the night before's bra hanging on your chair, or ignore a girl if you've been dating her for six months and it "didn't work out."

Don't worry boys, we still love you.

Hugs and kisses,

Girls Everywhere