No one ever wants to talk about it. No one ever wants to talk about the 23.5 million Americans who are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. No one ever wants to talk about the families that can and will be destroyed by the addiction. I don't know what it's like to be an addict, but I do have love for one.
Dear Addict,
First and foremost, I don't judge you. The honest truth is, I'm confused. Confused as to why you wouldn't accept help when offered thousands of times. Confused as to why you relied more on whatever high you wanted to experience that week, rather than the people who wanted nothing more than to help you. We really wanted to help you. We wanted to love you, but the only love you accepted was found in a syringe. Nothing we did seemed to be enough. Why wasn't it enough? What didn't we think to do?
I remember the last time we got together before you went to rehab, I could tell you were strung out, but I kept quiet and prayed it would be the last time I saw you in that state of mind. You made me promise you that I would make something out of myself, because you had missed that opportunity you so desperately longed for. I had so much hope that you would come out stronger than before. When you went back to that monster, I lost my patience. I became bitter, I didn't want anything to do with you. I was hurt. But I forgot to think of how you could have possibly been feeling.
I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry for not being more understanding. I forgive you for all of the mistakes you've made. I don't blame you, I blame the addiction. The drugs destroyed the person you were meant to be, but they taught me not to do the things you did. Sometimes I do think about what would've happened had you chose a different path. Would you be in school with me? Would you have had more kids? Would you be happy? You could have had the world in the palms of your hands, but you chose to let that go.
I saw what drugs did to you, I saw who they turned you into. I can't rely on "what ifs" anymore, all I can do is hope and pray that you find comfort in your actions, and you know when enough is enough. Just know, you are so loved. You are such a precious gift from God, and I pray you start treating yourself as such. I hope one day I'm able to recognize you again.
Sincerely,
Your Family
