You don’t know me, and I can’t say that I really know all of you either. But, I think I know something about you. Some of you are quiet, shy or brainy. There are others of you who are brash, outgoing or athletic. And there are even more who are a combination of the above characteristics or a different person entirely. You are biology, economics, English, history, art, or sociology majors. You are the future lawyers, doctors, mathematicians, CEOs, reporters, poets, Congressmen, teachers and Olympians. You are all so different and complex, that employing the familiar and overused cliché of “Don’t judge a book by its cover” begs to be used in describing you. Yet, none of these qualities should exempt any of you from your moral obligation to treat those around you with respect – particularly girls.
I am a college girl. College girls are equally as fascinatingly diverse as college boys. We are brilliant, funny, caring, driven, chatty, quiet, sarcastic, quirky, bossy, reserved, fun-loving, and stylish. Despite all of our wonderful characteristics, we are often not treated with the respect we deserve. Too often, my sisters have had their bodies taken from them and been harassed and raped. One in five of us will be sexually assaulted during our college years. This statistic is absolutely terrifying; but why is it ok to not feel safe within our own academic environment?
We’ve all worked incredibly hard to be where we are now, and we all have dreams and aspirations of where we could be. But in a single night, we could be made to feel small, insecure, powerless and unimportant. In a single night, our internal landscapes can be changed forever. And this is all because many of you forget that we are equally as deserving as you. We may not be Olympic-bound swimmers, but that does not mean that we are not just as important and just as human. It doesn’t matter what we are wearing or how much we partied. We are never “asking for it.” Nothing can take the place of consent. This is why I am writing this letter to you now. I am writing to remind you of the simple fact that our bodies are OUR bodies and what we do with them is OUR choice, not yours. For those of you who already respect this, I thank you with all my heart. But for those of you who don’t, I am asking you to listen. Listen to the women who have come forward and shared their stories of the traumatic effects of their rape. Listen to your mothers, sisters, girlfriends, female relatives and friends when they get into heated debates at the dinner table about the most recently broadcasted rape case. Listen to who we actually are – our personalities, insecurities, passions and ambitions, not just our bodies. Listen for consent, and if not given - respect that.
Many feel that the way to “solve” rape is to teach our girls to be more responsible. But is it fair for us to feel scared to wear a low-cut tank top on a hot day or the new little black dress we bought for girls' night out? Is it fair for the fear of sexual assault to control how we choose to live our lives? Why should we feel powerless at a time of our lives where we are supposed to feel most empowered? Perhaps the correct response to the rampant college-wide rape culture is to target our young men and teach them to respect women. So, this is my attempt at doing that: from student to student, from person to person, I am asking you to respect us and our choice.
Sincerely yours,
A college girl
