There you stood, with your long, shaggy red hair and bright blue eyes, with that shy smile and that speculating look on your face. Here I stood, wide-eyed, knowing that this moment was going to be a start of an adventure. And boy was it an adventure.
You were so difficult to befriend. I would feel victorious getting a smile out of you, let alone a word. So, when after months of failed attempts, you finally started talking to me, I was beyond happy. My dream was unfolding in front of my eyes. Or so I thought.
Little did I know, you weren't ready for a relationship. I let myself assume that mutual attraction would lead to a loving relationship. I am sorry for making that assumption. You had, and still have, every right to like someone without wanting to take it any further.
I'm sorry for the countless times I forced you to tell me "why". You didn't owe me a thousand explanations. You didn't deserve my nagging, persistent, inquiries. You deserved a friend that could take "no" at face value.
Eventually, I did coax you into a relationship. I put you in a position that you never wanted to be in. You knew you couldn't handle a relationship. I brushed it off. I was selfish, impatient, and wholeheartedly inconsiderate of your protests.
I wish I could say that once we became official, I was this perfectly amazing girlfriend. After all, I put both of us through quite some trouble to get to this point. Sadly, I didn't always treat you very kindly. I expected too much out of you. I expected so much, that I lost sight of the great person you already were. I am sorry for not valuing your worth. You are an incredible human being. You're not perfect, but that is okay. Nonetheless, no one deserves to be hit with countless expectations.
I'm sorry I cared more about the label than I did about you. Maybe, if I had seen you as a friend... as a person... as a partner in crime, I would have treated with a more understanding and compassionate attitude. Instead, I saw you as a future boyfriend, and eventually my boyfriend. You are so much more than a label.
I'm sorry I cared more about dating you than our friendship. I fell into the trap of instant gratification. I needed you now. Trust me, the few months of joy I had with you as a couple were not worth losing an entire friendship over. I am so sorry that we are no longer friends.
I hope that one day you will be able to look at me and see the girl you trusted. I hope you look me in the eye and see the person you once called your best friend. Until then... Hagrids' Buttcrack. Your favorite "joke".
