Dear Anxiety,
I really despise it when you decide to come around. You irritate me by interrupting my moments of joy and happiness with your darkness and sadness without any notice. I am terrified when you send me into panic attacks that result in a flood of fear across my body. I weep over how you make me feel unloved and unwanted. I am haunted over the nagging thought of when you will return again.
I scream at God. I throw belongings at the wall. I question your purpose. I push away those that care. I'm ashamed of you. I am scared of you.
And I hate you.
However, I need you to know that it won't always be like this. One day I will be at peace with you. One day I will be able to accept your role in my life, and do so with a smile on my face. Some days I am able to do this, but we both know most days I am not.
But for now...I am sad. I am angry. I hate you.
And I am tired of not being honest about that.
I have full faith that one day these harsh feelings will go away, and I will not feel constantly defined by you. However, for now, I am going to openly say that I hate you.
But maybe, just maybe, that's the first step to loving you.Sincerely,
Working On It
