There is an entire group of us out there, taking life day by day, often blaming the issues in our lives and relationships on our serious (but definitely not contagious) Middle Child Syndrome. But, like so much else we middle-born children have to deal with, our birth order can only be described as a double-edged sword.
The other day my family was watching our home videos. The camera was always either trained on my older sister, awkwardly climbing the stairs of the big yellow school bus for the first time, or my younger sisters, the perfect blonde babies who would smile and giggle on command.
The videos showed different events that were monumental to first-time or last-time parents. But throughout them all, one thing is constant. You can hear my voice in the background, annoying and high-pitched, as I sing whatever song I learned in preschool or recite our grocery list and try to wedge even just my skinny, freckled forearm into the frame. We middle children learn at a young age that we are going to be in the background.
As middle children, it is just a fact that we are never the first nor the last to do anything. We are shadows just as much as we are examples.
And, frankly, we have a hard time measuring up.
I am a good student and juggle school with a leadership position in my sorority, but my older sister just got promoted at work and my younger sister nailed a difficult tumbling pass for cheerleading. Somehow, their accomplishments overshadow mine. But that is OK. We have learned to be happy with a pat on the back and an extra scoop of ice cream after dinner. We can let our siblings enjoy their banana split.
We also know that being sandwiched between siblings is a blessing in disguise.
We are the glue. When our siblings sometimes find it hard to bridge the differences between them and find some common ground, we are the ones that can reach out and hold both of their hands. We have known since our youth how to be both the diplomat and the instigator, the negotiator and the people-pleaser. We are a mix of introvert and extrovert. We are neither Type A nor Type B (personally, I think I’m something like A-).
We have adopted our elder sibling’s cool older friends, but we also get to be that person for our little sibling’s middle school clique.
We have had someone to walk before us and make some of the mistakes first. But we also get to tell those who come after us the best ways to sneak out (just kidding, Mom) or which teacher to take for AP Chemistry. We are a wealth of knowledge, but we are also still learning.
As middle children, it is our job to be a little rebellious, but to also be responsible. We are lucky enough to slide by under the radar, so we get to test the limits but we also know what endeavors are too risky.
Because we are in the background, our presence is a little subdued, but our absence speaks volumes. We are the balance, the stability, the joke when you need it and the cheerleader at every one of our siblings youth soccer games.
So yes, our birth order has given us plenty to complain about, but, as anyone who has ever eaten an Oreo in their life will tell you, the middle is the best part!
