Dear Best Friend,
It’s weird because I don’t feel like I reserve the right to call you that anymore. You were my second half, the person I talked to about everything and the one person I knew I could call at 2am. But you were a year older than I was and when you left for college we slowly began to drift apart. It wasn’t intentionally and I know you didn’t mean it. You reached out to me occasionally and I called you when I needed you and our snapchat streak was going strong.
But fast forward and it’s the summer after my senior year, you came to my graduation and you surprised me on my senior night. You were always there still, but I just couldn’t see it. I wish I realized then that what we had that summer was better than the way things are now. Because of my stupid mistake, we don’t even talk anymore. I just see your photos on Facebook of you and your college friends and think to myself, I’m the reason why she can’t share any of this with me. You look happy though; you’re really maturing and honestly, you’ve always been such a role model. You’ve constantly blown me away with how amazing you handle what life throws at you.
But now, you don’t come to for advice. You don’t come to me when you need me and I’m just someone you knew in high school. At first, it didn’t bug me. But now you’ll randomly pop up on my phone and it makes me sad. Sad to see that things are going so well for you and you don’t randomly text me to let me know how happy you are. I miss that, more than you’ll ever know.
It makes me wonder if you ever miss me. The cliche line in breakup songs, but it’s true. I wonder if you see my picture pop up and wonder how I’m doing as well. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t push you away. I wouldn’t get mad because I didn’t see you because I understood you were busy. I want to text you and tell you that I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you wouldn’t listen. I’m afraid I messed up too badly that this isn’t something that we can repair. And honestly, I miss being able to call you my best friend. Because that was the best part. Having you at the other end of the phone, one state away, whenever I needed you. Because you cared about me enough to make sure everything was okay when we were hours apart. You are a good friend, not just to me but to everyone and I never appreciated that about you. I'm so sorry. I forever will be.
Love,
The Best Friend You Used to Know
