Lately, I've come across multiple articles and blog posts with a title along the lines of “Real Women Have Curves.”
Well, I’m 105 pounds of no curves whatsoever. I guess that doesn’t make me a real woman since I don’t fit into the new beauty standard of being curvy. (Sad face.)
But in all seriousness, I always hear derogatory comments like that. “Real women are curvy.” “Real men like curves; only dogs go for bones.” “You're skinny, how could you be self-conscious about your body?” “No, I don’t wear a size 0 because I have a body of a woman, not a body of a 12-year-old.” “Maybe if you ate double cheeseburgers instead of salads, you could actually gain some weight.” “You’re such a twig.” “When you turn to the side, you disappear!” “Why are you at the gym? You’re already skinny.”
Ugh, just stop it, already.
Allegations such as these are what make women (or anyone for that matter) obsess over their weight, causing mental health issues and eating disorders. It’s just as hurtful and problematic as fat shaming. Curves shouldn’t exemplify a “real woman.”
Personally, I love my body. I embrace my petite frame. However, I wasn’t always so confident. I never received that blossoming figure I thought I would have. It’s like I skipped puberty all together. I felt underdeveloped. I tried so desperately to gain weight. Eat a burger, you say? Well, I would eat nothing but burgers and fried, fatty, sugary foods all the time! Yet I never gained a pound. My fast metabolism honestly makes it impossible for me to gain weight. I’m just naturally thin. I’ve learned to accept that, and live with my renewed salad-eating, skinny, happy self. And I may not have curves and have a body of a 12-year-old, but I still have a vagina. So technically, I still have a body of a “real woman.”
Do you go up to girls and say, “Oh my god! You’re sooooo fat!" I doubt it. So why is it socially acceptable to go up to girls and say, “Holy cow, you are sooooo skinny! Go eat a donut or something.” Telling someone who is skinny to go eat a donut is equivalent to telling someone who is fat to hit up the treadmill.
A “real woman” is defined by what she believes in and stands by it, realizes what she deserves, and doesn’t settle for less. She is honest, loyal, and faithful. She is understanding and patient; she is kind, giving, strong, and respectable. “Real women” should be judged by their character, not by the size of their blue jeans.
People may argue that even if all this is true, skinny women still have the upper hand because of their body-positive image. Society and the media always boasts and brags about how being skinny is the ideal body type. So, we skinny girls are “privileged” because we appease society’s standards of beauty. Newsflash! That is not true.
Lindy West said it best: “Thin-shaming and fat-shaming are not separate, opposing issues—they are stratifications of the same issue: Patriarchal culture’s need to demoralize, distract, and pit women against one another.”
If you want to uplift curvy women, that’s wonderful. But don’t embarrass and degrade smaller women in the process. There are “real women” who are not skinny, but there are also “real women” who are. Stop putting down one group of people to make another group of people feel better about themselves. Whether you’re fat, skinny, thick, or thin, all body types are worth celebrating.
Do not police my body. Do not tell me to eat a burger. Do not mock me because of my size. My beauty is not measured in pounds. My body is my own, and I absolutely love all 105 pounds of it. I do not wish to seek acceptance in society’s standards of beauty. I accept myself, and I love myself. For those reasons, I think that makes me a “real woman.”
