So... Am I Being 'Ghosted'?

In a world where social media and technology play a large role in our communications with one another, Snapchating and texting are the two most common ways to get in touch with someone. Among millennials, the new term for deserting a relationship or disappearing on someone when you lose interest is "ghosting." While I have been both "ghosted" and been a "ghoster," I am still struggling with knowing when I am receiving the early signs of being ghosted or if I have been ghosted already.

When asking friends for examples of ghosting or if they had any experiences, one friend responded with the following example: "I would always receive good morning and good night texts from him. Then the texts started to disappear. Now I text him goodnight and get a random reply the next day — midday."

Is her example a sign of ghosting or over someone claiming to be busy?

When asked some guy friends their opinion on her example they responded: "If a dude wants you or wants to talk he will. Plain and simple. Maybe he is busy, but he will find time for you."

While this logic seems plain and simple, it actually holds a lot of truth. Why do girls (guys included) waste so much time and energy wanting and waiting for someone to return their affection, when that person they are waiting for may not even want the affection in the first place?

Another friend recounted her experience of being ghosted: "We used to have a Snapchat streak and talk every day, then he started sending fewer snaps and not responding to all my messages. Slowly we were just snapping each other for the streak, and then he ended that as well. He would constantly post stories, and was always active on both snap and Instagram."

This story feels like one told by a hundred girls. We all know the feelings of being left on read and having to vie for someone's attention. The worst part is thinking we will get a response and then never getting one. Being technologically rejected is one of the worse feelings because it takes less time to send back a message or request a follow then to meet up in person. Everyone is busy, but everyone also has a phone with them. So ultimately do these situations come down to the mere facts of being ghosted or people not fulfilling our self-affirmations, letting our insecurities seep into the voids we were trying to cover-up in the first place with a new love affair?

Whichever answer you find most accurate for yourself, whether you have been ghosted or are a "ghoster," the point is clear that we (myself included) deserve more than the opened Snapchats and unread texts messages. We deserve more because we are more. Instead of focusing on someone else and their timeliness to respond to our messages, let's use this time to better ourselves and become the best versions we can be. The best feeling is when someone 'ghosts' you and then comes crawling back!

Best of luck to all you amazing ladies out there waiting for a significant other who fails to notice the wondrous beauty you are.

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