Yes I Am An English Major But No I Don't Want To Be A Teacher

Yes I Am An English Major But No I Don't Want To Be A Teacher

Yes I can say, "Would you like fries with that," but if you ask me if I can, I'll probably dump them down your pants. Beware. Sorry not sorry.


Hi, my name is Alyssia and I am an English major.

And no, I do not want to teach.

You see, I love books. I have an unhealthy relationship with books that involve me buying them faster than I could possibly ever read them. It's horrible sometimes in that I see the hundreds of books on my shelves, and yes I said hundreds, and know that I have yet to read them all. Or if I will ever have the time, especially starting my junior year of college this fall.

I also enjoy writing but I'm not sure yet if it is more of a passion than a hobby because sometimes I also really dislike writing - usually, when it's research papers and being an English major, there is a never ending list different research papers.

However, this still doesn't mean I want to learn how to edit and write papers because I have learned enough of that to last me quite awhile. But even if I tell people this, I still get the annoying question that I am sure every other English major has gotten and probably want to strangle the person who asked it - So you're an English major, what do you want to teach?

I also have had some very rude and idiotic people tell me I should learn to ask other people, "Hi my name is [insert name here]. Welcome to Starbucks, what would you like to drink?" Which is really funny because I do get coffee a lot but extremely much cheaper coffee because I can't afford five dollar coffees a day. As I said earlier, I write a lot of papers, therefore my body needs the coffee and I mean needs the coffee.


I've also been asked if I know how to work a cash register because my degree will amount to nothing. I mean, where do people come up with this stuff?

Is there a website that I don't know about that tells me my life choices because of my degree and how much my life will suck because of it?

I am terribly sorry for those of you who are disappointed that I am not an engineer or biochemistry major but I am not sorry for wanting to major in something that I enjoy and love doing. I mean, I do dislike writing papers every now and then but let me tell you, I can write a six paged essay over a book I had to read within a week in just an hour or two. Sure I don't know how to calculate the acidity of an orange or how fast my car is going down the highway with 548 pounds of rocks in the trunk but I can write the hell out of a paper on negative eight hours of sleep in a minuscule amount of time and still make an A.

So ha.

My name is Alyssia and I am an English major.

Yes, I love my field of study.

No, I do not want to teach.

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