Through my years of dating I had found myself in these small relationships where there were always grey areas. I was left wondering “Why hasn’t he texted me?”, “Who’s that girl in his snap chat?”, even the desperate “Why didn’t he like my Instagram post?”. My almost relationships could really just outweigh my real ones. I can’t count the numerous relationships I’ve been apart of where everyone knew we were “together”, but he just wasn’t ready or we just didn’t call it what it actually was.
Every guy has and will always have an in-between girl, whether it’s a consistent girl or many there will always and continue to be these girls who are space-fillers. They use these girls while they are in-between serious relationships because it is what they need at the time. They need someone to hold the place while they find someone else. I unfortunately was this girl for a very long time. I held the place in a boys life where he went from one relationship to me, to finally finding someone new who could hold the title of a girlfriend.
Being an in-between girl leaves you with countless nights of never knowing what is going to happen next and if you like the sound of cheap thrill then let yourself become this girl because you’ll have countless ends of anxiety, but I knew this wasn’t and would never be for me. Numerous times, Ihad found myself caught up in thinking I would never be good enough for someone, but through this I had found out that it’s not my issue and it’ll always be his or whatever other guy does this to a girl.
Girls who get put through this don’t asked to be kissed in front of people or have arguments over flirtations with others and I knew I sure as hell never asked him to say “I miss you” countless times over again. I waited for 7 months for this person, day after day trying to find a solution. Trying to see if this boy would ever feel the same, but he didn’t and I knew he wouldn’t and here’s the thing they don’t tell us about these whatever relationships we put ourselves through - it’s that it takes more than just the communication of what this is to protect yourself. With hook ups comes heart break because no matter what you’ll be up wondering “was I not good enough for him?” That’s exactly how he made me feel, not good enough. Not good enough for me and definitely not good enough for him.
There’s one thing I do and should tell you all about being an in-between girl and it’s that I realized even though he broke me and always left me wondering, I knew I will always be able to love harder and knew I will always deserve to have my love and emotions protected because eventually I know there will be a time where someone will pick me first - you just have to kiss the frogs to find the prince, am I right?
