If Your Alumni Dad comes to visit OSU...

He's going to want to see campus. When you start walking around, however, he's going to get lost.

When he gets lost, you're going to have to remind him that it's been a few years since he's been at school.

You'll continue walking and at least he'll remember Mirror Lake.

He'll be jealous of all the new improvements that OSU's added recently.

When he starts ranting about new things, he'll definitely want to see the RPAC.

He'll want to work out and play tennis, and run the track, and take a class, and...

you'll have to distract him to get him back on track.

By the time you get to the Oval, he's probably going to be hungry. He'll ask you to go to Sloopy's.

He'll be overwhelmed by how big and loud the Student Union can be, so you'll have to get in and out pretty fast.

When he's finished eating, he'll probably want dessert. So he'll ask to get Buckeye Donuts.

On your way down High Street, he'll point out how different everything is again.

He'll get confused by the giant bull's head on one of the buildings and you'll have to explain the existence of Bulls to him.

When he hears about Bulls, he'll probably want to dance.

He will start "dad dancing" in the street. You'll have to pretend that you don't know him until you get to Buckeye Donuts.

Once you get a donut, he'll probably get tired and want to relax back at your place.

When you get back to your dorm/apartment, he'll remember how small your living space is.

He'll want to talk about your life at school and reminisce about, "the old days."

When he starts talking about, "the old days," he'll want to go visit the Thirsty Scholar.

After you've been all over campus, it'll be time for him to head home.

He'll tell you that he had a great time.

and chances are if he tells you he had a good time...

he'll want to visit again.