Dear Mariah,

Stop. Breathe. Okay, now continue.

I know we've been through a lot, and I know that some changes have been difficult lately. I know it's tough not being in school with some of the greatest people we have ever known, and I know that our heart aches to be with them. But, right now, we have to work on us. Even if you don't want to.

Even if it hurts for you to look deep inside, you must. It's how we will continue to move forward.

I know that you're scared that you will never be enough: never make enough money, never be fit enough, muscular enough or skinny enough. I know that you are scared that you will never be smart enough to achieve what your heart wants; after all, going to school for eight years is for smart people, not you (or so you believe). I know you're scared that you won't be a good enough wife or mother.

I know that you stand in front of your mirror and scan your body to see if it is up to your unattainable standards. I know you shame yourself for every mistake you make, despite the facts that your mistakes make you human. You get anxious when you eat something that your eating disorder doesn't want you to; you've cried over the fact that you ate a bag of sour gummy worms, even though they're our favorite; you've been so sick before, that you couldn't think of a better option than to die--all of these things I know to be true.

But, I also know that you're a fighter.

I know that you have a love so deep for people and animals, that, sometimes, it is painful. I know you become sad if you run over a frog or hit a butterfly, because, even though they may not matter that much to others, they are valuable in your eyes. If you saw someone crying, you would offer them a hug or a tissue or maybe even some food. You would do anything for your friends and family, no matter the circumstance.

Ever since we were little, we were rescuing stray cats and any lost animal we found; now, it's time to start rescuing yourself.

Wake up, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful, because beauty is so much deeper than our skin and so much more than what our stomach looks like. Remind yourself that you are trying your hardest, especially when you mess up. Remember how far you have come, even when the eating disorder gets loud, even when you feel so lost that you think God doesn't have a plan for you.

Pray often, because it makes you feel better. Pet as many animals as you can, because that also makes you feel better. Listen to happy music when you are sad; call someone when you're in a funk; keep telling your friends and family how much you love them. But, most importantly, sweet girl, follow you heart, because it is the compass God gave you, and He writes the directions on it. Follow your heart, even when others don't understand where we are going; after all, it's not their journey.

I know you are still hurting, and I know you are so scared disappoint others, but this is your life and you are the one who has to live it.

I am so proud of how far you've come, and I am so happy that you're a fighter. I'm glad that you realized your life is worth living, because we have some amazing things ahead of us.

Sincerely,

Mariah