advice for people in high school

5 Pieces Of Advice I Wish I Could Have Told My High School Self

"In three words, I can sum up everything about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost

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During high school, I literally counted the days until I was away at college, living my own life and free to do whatever I pleased. However, now that I look back on that time period, there are so many things I should have appreciated more and so many things I should have spent less time caring about. High school wasn't always a dream, but I wish I cherished that time more. Being away at college, I miss my friends and family terribly, despite loving my school, and I regret not waiting to do certain things that are reserved for adulthood. If I could go back in time and grab my high school self by the shoulders, these are the five things I would say to her.

1. Appreciate your family now 

Looking back, I really wish I would have spent more quality time with my parents and brothers before I left for college. I spent so much wasted time in high school spending time with people that I didn't care about and I wish I could go back and change that more than anything. I miss the little things like sitting at the kitchen table doing homework across from my Mom or watching Jeopardy with the family while we ate our dinner. These little moments are something I can't have while I'm away at college, and I wish I could have known how much these moments would mean to me someday, back then.

2. Spend as much time with your friends as possible

I cannot even describe how much I miss my hometown friends. I miss all of the inside jokes, the countless hours spent talking about pointless things, the game nights, and most of all, knowing that I could turn to them for literally anything. It is really hard to find people in college that can even replicate the friends you had at home (I'm not saying it's impossible), so cherish every minute you have with those crazy people. Things change when you go to college because both you and all your friends are leading vastly different lives now. It can be hard to feel the same way you did before you all left for college, but it is also so wonderful to see all of your friends grow into incredible adults. So, don't leave that hangout session early because your tired or want to watch Netflix, because someday you would give anything to have one of those nights back. I know I do.

3. Stop looking for love, it will find you

I spent so many pointless hours in high school going on dates with guys that didn't deserve a minute of my attention, because I so badly wanted someone to love me. I saw all of these girls at my high school with long-term boyfriends and I cried wondering why that couldn't be me, eventually causing me to waste my time desperately looking for my person. However, it was right when I stopped looking that love found me. The universe knew that those boys weren't right for me (and I think, deep down, I did too) and then, after I patiently waited, love was offered to me on a silver platter. My person found me and I thank my lucky stars every day for him because he gives me the kind of love I have dreamed of for years.

4. Don't try to grow up too fast

I wanted so many things in high school, so badly, that I just couldn't have yet. I would get so mad at my parents because they would say that I wasn't old enough to do those things yet and that I would have all the freedom in the world to do whatever I pleased in college, but I just needed to wait. I would get angry and frustrated because I wanted, more than anything, to be treated like an adult and be able to do adult things, but, looking back, I was just a naive little kid; I know that now. Also, the things that I was so excited for really weren't all they were cracked up to be. However, I owe a thank you to my parents for not letting me grow up too fast, because, let's be honest, growing up kind of sucks.

5. Everything will work out and you are going to be ok 

I stressed out over so many trivial things in high school that, in the grand scheme of things, do not matter at all now. I put so much pressure on myself trying to accomplish goals that would end up not mattering once I left for college. While I'm not saying that I'm not extremely proud of my accomplishments, but I could have saved myself a lot of tears if I knew then that if I didn't achieve something, it wouldn't ruin my life. On the contrary, I feel as though I grew so much more as a person in those instances of failure, than those instances of success. Everything happens for a reason. I got rejected by 8 colleges because the universe knew that I belonged at UW-Madison. I went through a horribly traumatic experience because the universe knew I would come out stronger on the other side. I had my dreams dashed more times than I could count because the universe had a different plan in store for me than the one I envisioned for myself. I think a quote by Robert Frost sums up this piece of advice very well, "In three words, I can sum up everything about life: it goes on."

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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5 Tips For Incoming College Freshman

Remember when everyone told you that high school was going to be the best four years of your life.. and then it wasn't? Well now for some of you, comes the BEST and WORST four years of your life. Here's a little bit you need to know in order to be prepared for the eventful year to come.

Scleigh1
Scleigh1
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Yes, believe it or not your parents, friends, and teachers were right. College is SO much different than high school in so many different ways. Luckily, I just survived my freshman year so I was in your place literally a year ago today. Everyone tells you how different college is from high school but they don't tell you how and that's what I'm here for! Lets just start with the 1st difference....

1. A whole new world

You will feel like your in a new world because in a way you are. You will suddenly be surrounded by so many groups of people, new cultures, different lifestyles, different languages, everything is so NEW. Not only are you not going to class with the same people everyday that you have seen in the hall for years but you are going to classes with complete strangers from all over the states and sometimes even the world. You are suddenly going to have to share a room with a stranger or even a best friend which can also lead to some issues. But what is most important to know is that even though you feel alone the first few weeks or even months... trust me so does everyone else, its okay to feel overwhelmed its normal. We all have absolutely no idea what we are doing we are all just pretending like we have somewhat of a plan. I met most of my friends my freshman year through being completely LOST on campus.

2. Making new friends

One thing that you aren't taught how to do in high school or honestly by anyone is how to make friends. I knew most people in my classes throughout high school so when I started college I hardly knew anyone besides my roommate. It definitely took me a while to branch out and start making friends but I had to remind myself to put myself out there and eventually I met some wonderful humans. Remember to always be yourself and you will attract people that WANT to be your friend. It takes time but once again, you are not alone. It will look like people already have their group and stuff but everyone is struggling just as much as you most likely.

3. Responsibilities 

The new responsibilities you will have... get prepared, they will hit you like a truck or at least they did me. You will suddenly be responsible for cleaning your room, doing your laundry, feeding yourself, doing your homework, remembering specific dates, paying bills, honestly the list becomes never ending because you are slowly becoming an adult :(((( I remember a time when I wanted to be an adult, now all i want to do is be in kindergarten taking a nap LOL, Luckily I already was familiar with most of these things as were others im sure but there are also people that haven't had to do some of the things by them selves before which can be overwhelming at times. You will eventually fall into your own personal routine and get your own system going and things will become second nature. Don't be afraid of this, just be prepared in order to have the most stress free incoming year.

4. Academics...

The real reason we are in college in the first place. Yeah, here is where your parents and teachers were right... high school courses and college courses can be either very similar or very different. It honestly depends on what the course is and who your professor is but, for the most part, college courses and professors are much different. Professors do not like to repeat themselves and expect you to remember any important dates they mention. They expect you to write it down, no excuses. In high school you teachers would give you a break but that's not really how college works. Some professors may cut you some slack but most wont. Do NOT waste a professors time and remember that even though you are paying to go to school there, you can get kicked out in a heart beat so don't risk it. Refrain from talking in class, and show up!!! you can miss one thing and the next thing you know you have a 5 page paper due in a few days. Save yourself the stress and just pay attention for the whole 50 minute or hour and a half class you have.

5. Packing 

PACK LIGHTLY!!! I packed so much unnecessary clothes, decorations, etc, that I ended up not needing or never even using. Safe as much space as you can because your dorm room will definitely get cluttered fast and you will accumulate more things throughout the year. So, pack the clothes and decor you NEED. Try your best to not over pack (as hard as it is (; )

6. Homesickness

No one:

Every college student ever: "Ugh I can't wait to go to college I hate living here!"

You know we've all said it but you will most likely get homesick at some point. My house is not far from the College at all and even I still was homesick sometimes. Its one of those things that everyone goes through so remember you are not alone. Luckily, we live in the 21st century too so you can always video chat your fam and send them some love. Its okay to be homesick just try to get more involved and do things you would do if you were at your own house. I always try to bring a few things from home too just to look at and remind myself that I will see my family soon.

Freshman year was difficult for me to adjust to as im sure it was to others, so hopefully you keep these tips in mind this summer as you prepare for your first year of college! I am excited for you all to start this next chapter, welcome to the beginning of adulthood class of 2023!

Scleigh1
Scleigh1

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