Distance: a concept that can make or break a relationship. This does not always mean a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but can also apply to friendships of any kind.
I know what it feels like being in long distance relationships well. I was living in Florida for six months, away from my family, friends, and boyfriend who all lived in Ohio. After my recent return back to Ohio, my boyfriend moved almost six hours away. I do not want to say distance is easy, because it is not. I would get so upset when everyone who visited me in Florida would have to leave, and I still cry saying goodbye to my boyfriend when we make the trip to see each other. Goodbyes never do get easier, but you do learn to cope with the distance.
I want to focus this article on boyfriend/girlfriend relationships because my boyfriend and I just celebrated our 3 year anniversary! It has not always been easy and our relationship is not perfect, but we make it work. If you truly care about someone, you can make anything work. I would like to give some insight to the struggles and trials of being in a long distance relationship.
1. Being clingy is not your answer to the distance struggle.
You will want to call, text, or Skype your significant other every chance you get. You may even get annoyed when they take forever and a day to reply to one of your unimportant text messages (guilty). DO NOT BE THAT PERSON. Go have fun with your friends. Do not miss out on an experience because you are waiting for your significant other to call. Instead set aside a time that works for both of you to call or Skype each other. I am positive they do not want you clinging to your phone all day.
2. Trust your partner.
If you do not trust your boyfriend/girlfriend then why are you even in a relationship with that person?! Trust is the key foundation to any sensible relationship. A lot of the time, we get insecure and worry that our partner is out having more fun than us, or even worse, cheating. If you both made the commitment to stay together through the distance and they have not given you any reason not to believe them, you must learn how to trust them in order to keep a strong, healthy relationship.
3. Focus on finding yourself.
Being away from the person you feel closest and the most connected to can really put you out of your comfort zone. This is a great time to learn how to do things on your own and discover yourself. There is a saying that goes, "You can't love anyone else unless you love yourself." Being away from my family and boyfriend taught me to love me for me.
4. Just because you are miles and miles away from your significant other, doesn't mean you can stop showing attention.
This is the other side of being overly-clingy and this is what my relation struggled with most, (and still is the weakest aspect). Just because the other is away, do not forget to check in daily with them, ask them about their day, and show you care. A lot of the time we do get used to being in a distant relationship and forget to show the other person how much we still do, and always, care. Send a cute text message, or surprise the other with flowers. These little reminders will help show your boyfriend/girlfriend that you are thinking of them. Because you are not able to show attention in person, you need to find other ways to show your affection.
5. You will be envious of every couple you see.
The couple you see at the gym together? Jealous. The couple you see eating pizza on a Saturday night together? Jealous. The girl you see at the mall who looks like she is buying an outfit for date-night with her boyfriend? Jealous. Literally every cute, couple-related thing will make you jealous and hurt. I want to say this feeling goes away, but it doesn't. These emotions just make you appreciate the time you spend with your significant other even more!
Relationships are hard work and adding distance to the mix just complicates things even more. Distance relationships are not ideal, but are also not impossible. Remember that the distance will not last forever, and if it is truly meant to be, it will be. Distance has a funny way of showing us those who truly care about being in our lives. Take the distance as a blessing in disguise: find yourself, show attention, trust, and don't forget to say "I love you".
