When you're growing up and your parents are married, you never really think anything of it. This is how life is, and it's never going to change. You'll always be part of a family that is whole - complete. When you're asked to draw a picture of your family, there will always be a mom, a dad, your brother, and your sister. That's what normal was for me, anyway. But when I grew up, things changed.

There's an episode of The Office where Pam's parents are struggling. Jim talks to Pam's dad about how he feels when she walks into the room. For Jim, Pam is everything. She is his life. His world. And Pam's father realizes that he's never felt that about his wife, not even at their best. Jim unsuccessfully tries to make a joke about 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, so it was her parents or his. (Rest assured, he knows it's not really funny. But if you watch the show, you know Jim always has to lighten a serious mood.)

But I think what really sticks with me about that episode is that Pam says that when you're a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. I know I did. And for a long time I believed that. I had several friends who came from homes without both parents, but I just never thought that would be a reality for me. That's the funny thing about life, though - nothing ever really seems to work out the way we think it will. At least not always.

I guess the funny thing is, I should have seen everything coming. When I think back about the relationship my parents had as I got older, particularly in high school, things weren't great. There were some rather personal issues that I'd rather not disclose, but it should have been a glaring warning sign for me. I think a lot of times, relationships look so much different to the people in them than to those observing.

Fast forward from my youth. It's 2014 and I'm 23-years-old. I've been happily married now for three years and my husband and I are finally able to afford our honeymoon to New York. My brother texts me about problems at home, but I don't think much of it. It's nothing that seems new. Everything will work out.

So a few weeks later, literally days before leaving for New York, I ask him if everything is okay at home if the problems had been worked out. He won't really clarify for me what's going on. Eventually, he lets slip that my parents might not be keeping the house. Which is a shock in and of itself, because I never saw that coming. But he tells me not to worry and that everything will be fine. He says I should have a good time in New York.

But after that, I got to thinking. He'd mentioned something about my parents not getting along well. That something was going on. I never told anyone this, but I checked my parents' Facebook pages. They used to be linked to one another's pages because they were listed as married. But that link wasn't there anymore. And sadness set in. I texted my brother and asked if they were getting divorced. He swore they weren't. But I later found out that I was right and that my parents had told him to let me enjoy New York before I found out.

So, imagine having an incredible honeymoon in NYC – the greatest place on the planet! And your parents are listening to your adventures, and your dad looks really uncomfortable and clearly has something to say. And then they drop the bombs. They're not staying together anymore. Their marriage is over. He's moving out. She's probably going to do so as well. Your childhood bedroom? It won't be yours anymore.

My parents stayed together until I was 23. I have no idea what it's like to be a child when your parents split. But I can tell you that even as an adult, it's a blow that changes everything. It makes you question a lot of things and it makes you sad. You seek out self-help books because you don't really know anyone who will get it. It makes you worried that maybe you'll do something that'll make your spouse leave too.

But eventually I figured it out. My husband and I are not my parents. Just because that is how it ended for them doesn't mean that's how it has to end for us. Communication is key, as is honesty and being open with one another.

I'm lucky, really. My parents are still on speaking terms. There wasn't a messy custody battle and there's not a big to do at the holidays when we can't see everybody. But my heart still aches for those times when I was a kid and we would go out as a family. A truly happy, whole family. Sometimes I look at those pictures and sob. It's hard to let go of what was.

At the end of the episode, Pam says that as children, we assume our parents are soulmates. She says her kids will be right. Mine will be, too.