Kids who go through the separation of their parents have it rough. Their entire life is uprooted all of a sudden, and they have no idea why. It seems as though their parents have suddenly decided they don’t want to be together anymore, and the kids must try to interpret what that might mean. For a child, the concept that people grow apart is rather difficult to understand. Many kids change drastically in the process of trying to figure out their parents' new situation.
I wasn't one of those kids. My parents split up when I was about seven, and they never got back together, despite what the movies told me they would do. I had to adjust to our new living arrangements, wherein my siblings and I split our time between my dad, who moved into a new house, and my mom, who moved in with my grandparents.
As the oldest of three kids, I was also the one who had to step up and take on a lot of responsibility. I was now the only one that saw my siblings every day, and therefore had the best idea of what was really going on with them.
I could have taken the opportunity to rebel against my parents and become one more thing for them to argue about. Instead, I started looking after my brother and sister, making sure they were taken care of as we were carted from house to house and expected to live two completely different lives.
As I got older, it became more difficult for me to stay true to myself because my parents wanted different things for me. I have always been strongly influenced by the people around me, and splitting my time between two people so radically different made it impossible for me to know exactly what I wanted, independent of my parents.
Junior high and high school were especially hard for me because I didn't do much aside from school work. I had few extracurricular activities and even fewer close friends. I kept my head down and my mouth shut, and focused almost exclusively on my grades. I didn't step out of my comfort zone much or do a lot of things I would've really liked to do, because I didn't really know who I was.
Now, having graduated high school, I've decided to go to college 250 miles away from my family. I didn't choose to do this because I desperately wanted to get away from my family, but because I realized I really need to spread my wings and figure out who I am without having both of their voices in the back of my mind at all times.
My upbringing was a little different than that of my friends, but I’m not upset about any of it because it taught me responsibility and encouraged me to get out in the world and be my own person. I didn't give in to the pressure to choose one side, and because of it, I have two amazing people to look to when I need them, as well as a lot of knowledge of my own to guide me.