There isn't enough time in the day or hours a week.
Schedules are adding up.
Curveball one collides with plot twist three.
Life becomes far too busy, all too different, and much more confusing.
So there just isn't the time to not be "okay."
There isn't the time to sit and cry and stare out of our windows.
There isn't the time to turn off the alarm and crawl in bed.
There's no time to scream and cry and throw in the towel.
Your full-time job beckons.
The kids are downstairs and hungry.
Timesheets need to be turned in.
Homework is piling up, and the customers are waiting for you to take their order.
So the sitting and crying becomes standing and smiling.
Crawling in bed becomes rushing to work.
And screaming and crying turn into the silence and the still sound of a keyboard.
There doesn't seem to be enough time to talk about your problems when: friend one is struggling, your parents are calling, friend two pops in the picture. Your boss is upset, customers are complaining, the kids are getting overwhelmed. Friend three calls crying, the dishes aren't done, work is an hour away, and you completely forgot about friend four's birthday as friend three is still on the phone crying.
Life is crazy, and there's nothing new about the business it contains or the chaos that often follows.
But what we seem to neglect is the small little crack in our hearts, the aching feeling in our chest.
Because there "isn't enough time to focus on it."
There isn't enough time to allow ourselves to feel it.
Because IF we do.
The tears may never stop, the homework won't ever get done, people will be upset, the house might catch on fire, the kids will join a gang, and the world as you know it will end.
But that isn't true.
It's just how we feel.
And feelings aren't based on facts.
I think we can get so caught up in life that we forget about the crack, and we ignore the pain, to the point where we think it must have left.
But deep down we know it's not.
We just forgot about 'us' a little,
We forgot how to ask for help.
And admit we're really not okay.
Excuses seem to justify it with,
"everyone this," and "everyone that"
And I don't want to be selfish, or inconvenient.
Much like our feelings, those aren't necessarily true.
If you ignore the crack, it'll only become a hole.
The problems you thought were "normal," and are just "life,"
will have you running into much bigger problems.
And you know you can't be that mom,
that friend, that co-worker, or that spouse, when you're not even that "you."
Admit to yourself that you're not okay.
Talk to someone.
And get the help you need.
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