I'm not sure if you're a disease or a illness. I'm not sure if you are curable or manageable. I'm not sure if you are a choice or genetic. But I do know one thing: you're a homewrecker. You ruined my family, and that is something I will never be able to forgive you for.

You are the person from my past that I see out in public and I hide from. I want nothing to do with you. I refuse to drink even a beer because I am so scared of you. I attempted to fight through a debilitating point in my life because I was scared that if I sought help, it would lead me to the medication that would introduce me to you. I was too afraid of you to take my pain pills after having my son via emergency surgery. But for some reason, that says more about me than it does about you.

You came in my life as a friend of the family. You brought destruction veiled by empty promises of happiness. You took my father and turned him into a shell of himself. You changed him from the man who took me and my sister to the park every Saturday morning to someone who falls asleep while grocery shopping at Walmart because the methadone makes him too tired to function properly. You took away my mother's pain but at what cost? So it would destroy her second marriage and force me to take her to the hospital to detox on the same day I found out I was pregnant with her first grandbaby. You took my happy family and not only pulled it apart but you ripped it to shreds.

You fucked me up so much that I feel the need to get high just to ease the tension in my mind, but I can't. That's how you do it, isn't it? You creep into people's life to make them feel like they need you without even realizing what you're doing. You chose those you have already made weak because they know that, for a while, you will be a friend. You will promise them sanity or happiness or relaxation or energy. You will promise them things they think they need, and you will give it to them, but you will take away everything else in the process.

So here is what I have to say to you. Please leave me alone. You've toyed with me and my family my whole life, but I am smarter than to let you do that to me. I am stronger than to give in to your temporary solution to the problems you created in the first place. So please, I am begging you, go find yourself somewhere else to hide. Leave me and my family alone.