I'm only a few months into my last year of college and it has already proven to be the best year of undergrad. I've found a solid group of friends, I'm old enough to get into all the fun places and let off some steam, and I've sort of learned how to efficiently "college". However, this year is incredibly stressful because the real world is quickly approaching and somehow I'm supposed to have my whole life figured out by May. The closer I get to graduation the more pressured I feel to impress everyone and have every last detail of my future planned out. Even trips home for the holidays are becoming stressful with everyone bombarding me with the same questions that I've been so good at avoiding up until now. I know people ask because they genuinely care, or maybe they're just making small talk. Either way, constantly being asked questions like these gets super annoying, and quite frankly I just don't have all the answers. Well, I have answers, but they're probably not the prim and proper ones most people are looking for. Sadly, the time has come for me to actually have answers to the super important questions that everyone loves to ask a college senior, and if I were answering these honestly, this is what I'd say:
How is school going?
"College is soup. I am a fork."
Are you dating anyone?
"I've had the same pizza delivery guy the past 9 times. Does that count?"
When are you guys going to get serious?
"Well he knows where I live and knows my order by heart now so I mean, it's pretty serious."
What are your plans after graduation?
"I don't really have anything solid but I know that's not an acceptable answer so give me a second to come up with something that sounds good."
What's your backup plan?
"I'm glad I'm not the only one that has no faith in my future. If you have suggestions LMK."
Have you had an internship?
"No thanks my friend had one of those one time and it sounded horrible."
Have you taken the GRE? What was your score?
"Standardized tests won't tell you how caring and funny I am or what my favorite color is. There is so much more to me than grades and test scores, underneath this anxiety attack is a real human being with real thoughts and feelings!"
How does your resume look?
"Career services made it for me so if I don't get the job it's their fault."
Do you always wear leggings?
"You mean these aren't considered business casual?"
You don't just go out every night, do you?
"No, of course not! Sometimes I like to avoid all my responsibilities in the comfort of my own home."
Where are you are working?
"I'm a nanny. Why don't I have a real job that will look good on a resume? Well real jobs suck and honestly I'm just proud of myself for not taking up stripping yet."
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
"Hopefully using the piece of paper that took 4+ years to earn. More importantly, hopefully happy, healthy, and wealthy."
