The Acceptance Of My Asperger's
Self Love

I Used To Hate Having Asperger's Syndrome, But Now I Embrace It As Part Of Who I Am

The acceptance of my Asperger's Syndrome came with age.

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I Used To Hate Having Asperger's Syndrome, But Now I Embrace It As Part Of Who I Am

Everyone has weaknesses. For me, it is my Asperger's Syndrome. If you don't know what it is, here is a definition.

I know most people are not comfortable sharing their mental disorders or conditions. I am comfortable sharing because I am not ashamed or embarrassed about it. Nobody should be, because it is a part of who they are. It does not change their value as a human being. Of course, it is easier said than done to have this mindset about your weaknesses. But it is essential to accepting yourself and experiencing happiness in life. At one point, I did not accept my Asperger's; I despised it. Yet when I got to the point of accepting it as a part of who I am, I felt happier.

Let me explain why I despised it. I struggled with socializing since the skills did not come naturally, like interpreting body language. Asperger's also can have accessories, like being prone to depression or being a perfectionist. Lucky me, I have both. All of this caused me to have personal struggles that the majority of kids my age did not understand. Throughout my life, I suffered from a small number of friends and constant negative thinking that led to low confidence. I even got to certain points of self-loathing. I did not like the person I was.

Thankfully I received plenty of help from speech therapists and psychologists for my issues. It was not a once and done process, it was gradual through all of middle school, high school, and early college. I trained to overcome and ignore negative thoughts. But the one that kept inhibiting me for a long time was "you are very weird and different from everyone else." This almost always bothered me and left me bitter. I felt jealous of everyone else for being normal. The majority of my peers had many long-time friendships, were involved in high school, dating, etc. I never had those things, due to being unconfident and struggling with my issues (which made me appear odd in front of other people).

But, I finally came to the point where I accepted my Asperger's. I realized that my Asperger's gave me a different perspective on life that many people do not have. My Christian faith also helped me to accept it when I became convicted that God did not make a mistake in creating me or anyone else. Finally, I also observed other people in my life and their weaknesses, some of whom I would think were odd or crazy. That was when I did not feel alone in my struggles, I saw that everyone had some weakness they struggled with. I could say to myself "okay, my Asperger's is my main weakness, and that is a part of who I am."

This does not mean I do not struggle with my Asperger's anymore, there are still some negative thoughts that pop up. It is just a weakness that I struggle with. I am still striving to overcome certain obstacles, but I can say that I have come a long way from who I was. It is easy to give into negative thinking about our weaknesses and hate ourselves. It would be easy to blame the culture, but based on my experience, most people are accepting of those with mental or developmental disorders. The worst critic of us is ourselves. What we need to do is to accept our weakness, take the best steps we can to overcome it, and make friends with those who accept it. That is what I did and the thought of my Asperger's no longer causes bitterness. It makes me proud of what I have overcome and who I am.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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