Surely you’ve heard about how there’s abuse in relationships. However, this is about the unspoken side of abusive relationships. Yep, I’m talking about the men who are abused.
Now, I can’t speak for all men in relationships, but whenever I get in one these days, I have a fear that I could have a repeat of the past. When I was in my sophomore year of college, I was unknowingly in an abusive relationship with my girlfriend at the time, however, I was not the abuser.
My friends all told me that she was controlling—making me drop my friends and see my roommates as my worst enemies. I never quite understood it. However, the point of this is not to bash my ex. It's to bring awareness to the fact that both men and women can be abused and be abusers.
The main reason you don’t often hear about men who are abused is not only because the number of abused women tends to outnumber the abused men, but also because men do not bring it up or speak out about it.
There is this stigma where it is necessary for men to enjoy sex and enjoy getting girls, no matter what. It’s about them being manly. That’s what the media, and men in general portray themselves as these days.
I’m not here to say that abused men are more important than women, but that abuse in general, regardless of gender, needs to stop. I was physically, verbally and sexually abused.
Not everyone goes through the same experience, but abuse is abuse, no matter the degree. It may not be a great topic to speak up about, but it needs to be addressed and taken seriously, no matter the gender.
For the men and women reading this, it doesn’t matter how much you love your partner, it's always best to consider when they are being abusive and put a stop to it. Speak up. You don’t have to be silent. Go and seek help and get out of that relationship. No one deserves to be in the same situation countless others have been in before.
If you aren’t sure if your relationship is borderline abusive, I would say that you ask others, or even do an Internet search for common signs. Abuse is a serious matter and it needs to be addressed, and no one needs to be shamed based on whether they are male or female. We all have a right to find the one we love, and we have a right to feel loved. As always, reach out to those around you for help whenever you can.
