As a single 20-something woman in today's culture, I can clearly see that there is no real "dating" scene anymore. I live in a hookup culture instead. Instead of simple dates like dinner and movie, it's all about getting a guy to buy you a drink at the bar or which cute guy liked your selfie on Instagram. I HATE THIS. Here's why.
1. Commitment issues.
So what are we? Are we dating? Are we "talking"? Are we seeing other people? The worst is when you have to explain to your parents about the person you like, but you're not actually dating you're just "talking." Whatever that means. It seems like everyone is afraid to be in a committed relationship so you spend a lot of your time wondering if the one you like is only talking to you or if they are talking to other people.
2. There's no romance.
I promise I'm not asking for a lot when I say this - I just want a little effort. Going to a party together is not a date. Hanging out with your roommates is not a date. Plan something. Anything. Nothing is better than a spontaneous night out or a simple walk on a Saturday afternoon. Being romantic is all about the little things and thinking about the other person.
3. People like to believe that they don't have feelings.
I get it. You don't want to get hurt. You don't want to take a risk. Maybe you just weren't looking for something when it all happened. Trust me, I understand. But this doesn't mean you don't have feelings. You simply don't want to acknowledge what those feelings are telling you.
4. Texting.
Texting seems makes everything complicated. You might text a lot, but did you wait the right amount of time to respond to a text? What is this said amount of time? And there's always the question of how much texting is too much/not enough? Somedays I really just wish I would get a call asking me to do something instead of a text that seems to have no enthusiasm.
5. It's turning into a game.
I barely have enough time in my crazy, hectic schedule to even attempt to be part of the dating scene so I promise I do not have time for the games that you want to play with it. Don't pretend you want a real relationship if you don't. If you want a real relationship, don't pretend that you're okay with being part of this hookup culture that we live in.
6. Making plans.
Nothing is more frustrating than the "I don't care what we do. You pick" argument. I would be happy doing anything that makes you happy. Let's go get ice cream. Let's go get coffee. Let's sit by a fire one night. It really doesn't matter. It's not about the amount of money you spend on the date, but the effort that you put into it.
So no, I don't want to hangout after the bar and no I don't want to "Netflix and chill." If you are actually interested in me, you will find a better way to get to know me. I want to go on actual date. Thank you.
