Please, please, please stop your politically correct, empathetic, want to be sweetheart bull crap. You are doing other fat people and me absolutely no good by telling us we're not fat. You are harming us by telling us that it is alright to be so uncomfortable and unhealthy.
Now, this does not allow you be a complete cretin and use this as an excuse to start bullying fat people. I've had enough of that too. Not to mention behavior like that is completely unacceptable and makes you a horrible sub human being.
Roughly 30%, give or take a few percent depending on which study you are reading, of Americans are overweight. Overweight means someone is over a 24 BMI and obese is someone over a 30 BMI. What's that mean to you? Well, I'm 5'1" tall and at my last weigh in I was 248 pounds. That gives me a BMI of 46.9. Woo Mamma! I absolutely am fat.
I'm obese. Like many overweight and obese people, I suffer from some very uncomfortable side effects of being fat. For me, it's pain when I sleep. Regardless of what kind of mattress I sleep on I toss and turn all night as my bones ache under the pressure of a body placing more weight on its skeletal structure than it was meant to handle. This nightly tossing and turning causes sleep deprivations. I also have high cholesterol which can cause plaque in the arteries. Eventually, with enough plaque blockage, my brain could suffer oxygen deprivation (basic biology: blood brings oxygen to the body and brain), and I could eventually suffer a debilitating stroke with end results from temporary paralysis of certain areas of the body to brain damage or even death. Dum, dum, dum!
I'm lucky that so far, I only have two symptoms. Overweight and obesity can lead to heart disease, type two diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure and a plethora of other health issues with some very unpleasant side effects including death. Then there are all the drugs to treat all these overweight related health concerns and their side effects up to and including death. Are you starting to understand why I'm saying to stop telling me, and other overweight and obese people, I'm (we're) not fat?
Beyond the harrowing medical issues and death and address how being fat affects us on a more mental level. Until I got hit by a car while riding my bicycle, I was overweight but not obese. I could play roller derby although not as well as I wanted to because my body limited my ability. I did my first Warrior Dash just weeks before, and I moved to Georgia, which afforded me the benefit of outdoor living, only five months earlier. As an overweight person, I struggled with being active, but I could at least get out there and do a halfway decent crossover, run at a snail's, and swim decently. Heck, I was about a quarter mile from ending my eleven-mile bike ride when the car hit me. As an overweight person, I struggled, but at least I had some pride in what I could do and some quality to my life.
The accident left me with torn muscles and ligaments, a too tight IT band, and arthritis in the hip. Even before exhausting the insurance money I was gaining weight because pain and limited mobility were holding me back from being active. I still tried. I'd walk more than two miles to work. Then I'd suffer in agony my entire shift. The weight only made that pain worse. Eventually, I couldn't work anymore became obese. Obesity causes me anxiety, depression, and keeps me from enjoying the quality of life I want and deserve. Yes, being overweight keeps you from living a great life. It holds you back, and it sucks.
Then there are the social effects of being fat. Fat discrimination could be no more in your face than when you read celebrity gossip online. Heaven forbid if Beyoncé didn't drop that baby fat two minutes after she gave birth the woman will be called fat. This social ideal creates the stigma of fat. People start becoming fat bullies. Individuals who suffer from obesity or being overweight can have severe anxiety and depression due to the social shame of being fat.
That still doesn't mean you should stop telling us we're not fat.
Job discrimination is also a big issue. Have you read Anthony Bourdain's article So You Wanna Be A Chef? In his article, he openly admits he discriminates against fat people and states that if you're fat and desire a career as a chef, you should reconsider. I've read job search articles that say blow out your curls and lose weight as something you should do to prep for a job interview. Some studies even say that people who are overweight earn as much as $1.50 less than their equal coworkers.
Do we even need to address airline discrimination of fat people? Shame on you Southeast airlines.
What we need is not a bunch of bleeding heart well intended but profoundly misguided people who are telling us we're not fat or worse that it's ok to be fat. There is a multitude of negatives to being fat. It's a horrible thing to be overweight or obese. It ruins your life.
What we need is your support. Take some of that empathy from your bleeding heart and help us in positive ways. After saying, "I can't do (fill in the blank with something fun) because I'm too fat," I would love to hear someone say, "Hey, I could be your workout buddy." It would be awesome if we could find not verbal support but actual, physical, tangible, result giving, active support.
When fat people go to the gym, we're scared. We're paranoid. We see all the buff people lifting weights and feel like they're straight up laughing at us in their heads. Those beautiful J-Lo butted beauties in their sexy sports bras sprinting miles on the treadmill; we think they're judging us. Those scales, their taunting us. All this makes it way too easy to think of every (or even just one) reason to slide out of the gym, head home to the couch with a cheese pizza and a bottle of soda to eat our feelings.
It's harder to leave when a friend is there. When I started roller derby, I had an awesome friend named Deb Owchery who would take me to the gym with her. She would counter every excuse I had not to go and then she kept me going through the workouts. I lost weight, became a better player, and it boosted my confidence. This verbal and healthy support is the kind of help we need. So, shut your mouth with your politically correct pandering and be a real friend.
You can also stop feeding us. Seriously, this is a massive problem. How many times have you brought food to your fat friends or gone out to eat with them? Stop! Stop this behavior immediately. Do not feed the fat person. We love you, now do something more meaningful with us. Take us to the mall or the museum, a sports event or Burning Man. How about we just have a conversation in your living room while playing XBox? I'll accept a trip to Rollercon or the beach. Don't be the enabler that undermines our attempts to improve our health and quality of life. Be the person who helps us to meet our healthy goals.
Finally, stop telling us all the reasons we should love our body as it is and be proud of who we are. I want to have a conversation with just one person, anyone not professionally paid to listen to my fat woes, where I can discuss my struggles and get real honest dialogue from someone who is willing to be my support. I am sure anyone battling with overweight or obesity issues would love that. And no, we don't want you to be our psychiatrist. We want you to be our friend.
So please, please, stop telling us we're not fat and help us help ourselves by being a real friend.
