For people who know me, they know that I struggle with depression, so this is not new information, by any means. Yes, it is a daily struggle for me, as it is for most people who have mental illnesses. We feel alone and afraid. Afraid to share our feelings in fear of being judged or put down. Alone in our thoughts, constantly stuck inside our heads. I never thought to share what I was feeling until it was too late.
My depression had reached the point of what seemed like no return. This was the end. It was March 2014, and all I wanted to do was end my life. I had nobody to talk to. Nobody was there for me. Nobody was going to stop me. Nobody was even going to miss me. But obviously my attempt failed, and I sought out some major help. My attempt landed me in a psychiatric hospital where I attended constant counseling, round-the-clock check-ups and multiple visits from a psychiatrist. It may sound awful, but it was the best week of my life. I was truly able to open up with everyone and feel like myself.
But even in my time there, I witnessed people who had denied that they had a mental illness. I saw people remain quiet throughout all of the time that was allotted for sharing. So even in this "safe haven," people still felt insecure about the fact that they live with depression. But it isn't their fault, it's society's.
Society has drilled into our minds that depression is just a state of mind and that it's not real. Society will tell us that all we need it to smile, and everything will be better. Society will claim that we have nothing to be depressed about because our lives are going great. Well, society, depression is not a state of mind; it is very real. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and we can be born with it, or it can happen after a traumatic event. Because of you, society, we have bottled up everything we feel just to please you. We bottle up so much until we burst. So many deaths have happened because people feel ashamed to open up about what they are feeling. They don't think anyone will listen. I'm here to tell you that people will listen. Seek those people out before it is too late. I happen to be one of those people, and I will gladly listen to anything you may have to say. You shouldn't have to feel alone in this world.
