There are some pretty massive misconceptions about what it means to be an extrovert or introvert. As someone who mostly considers themselves an introvert, I feel like that word has taken on a seriously negative connotation. Somewhere along the line, being an extrovert became a good thing, and being an introvert, bad. This is simply not true. In fact, falling anywhere on the introvert-extrovert spectrum does not change a person’s probability of being a healthy and happy person.
So here are a few things I feel like need to be cleared up about introverts
1. Introverts are analytical.
Understanding this trait of introverts can help clarify the majority of introvert behaviors. Introverts are observers (think "Perks of Being a Wallflower") and therefore tend to step back in social situations and conversations. When they do this, they are likely analyzing their observations and using that to understand people. As a result, introverts are usually strong judges of character. They use their analytical skills to understand other people and their environment. Introverts are also analytical of their own thoughts and sense of self. They tend to spend more time working to understand themselves, their emotions and thoughts. Additionally, introverts may have trouble making decisions, because they think in-depth through each of the possibilities and consequences possible, which may lead to analysis paralysis. On the other hand, if an introvert does make a big decision, you can guarantee it was not done lightly.
2. Introverts are not shy or socially awkward.
There is a difference between being an introvert and being shy. Shyness assumes a lack of confidence in meeting and engaging with new people. An introvert may be in a room of people and make no effort to meet or engage with any of them. That simply means that they don’t feel a need to. Introverts are just more comfortable sitting by themselves or with the one or two people they do know. They are not being awkward, this is their preference.
3. Introverts do not have poor communication skills.
Commonly, introverts are more able to express themselves and communicate through writing. Because introverts are analytical, they are cautious about how their words may be perceived and interpreted. Talking out loud makes an introvert uncomfortable, because it limits their ability to make sure that what they say is exactly what they mean.
An introvert is also likely to find clarity of mind in writing when they are having trouble understanding a situation or emotion. They prefer text, emails, or even letters, because they allow them to make their thoughts and emotions clear. It is likely that if you are having a hard conversation in person or on the phone with an introvert that they wrote out their main points and have thought over their words a thousand times.
On the other hand, being an introvert does not mean you are unable to communicate in person or aloud. It also does not mean you are unable to give presentations or be a strong public speaker. It just may mean that doing so requires a little extra thought in advance to be comfortable.
4. Introverts are not depressed.
Because of the way introverts internalize thought, their behaviors are often confused for depressive moods. An introvert may isolate themselves and go out of their way to spend time alone. This does not mean they are having a problem, are upset, not feeling well, or are experiencing depressive moods. It may mean that they need to rejuvenate, and some time alone is the best way for them to do so. Also, it could just be how they feel like spending their time that day. Sometimes, in their best moods, an introvert may just want to spend time alone.
5. Introverts do like to party.
Introverts may not always enjoy large social settings, but that does not mean that they don’t like to socialize. Most introverts would prefer a night with a small group of friends to a crowded party with strangers. Extroverts experience what is called “crowd euphoria," meaning that they gain energy for being around other people (basically, “the more, the merrier”). Introverts are the opposite. Introverts probably agree more with “the more, the scarier." Crowds are draining for introverts and cause them to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Intimate parties and time away from the big party scene area are an introvert’s favorite ways to socialize.
6. Introverts are not being rude.
Introverts do not ignore people or avoid conversations and interactions because they are rude. Most introverts know when any social interaction they are about to have will be unsuccessful. They are saving you the trouble. If an introvert is sitting at the same table as you and makes no effort to small talk (the bane of an introvert’s existence) it is because they just simply are not in the mood to interact with anyone (which doesn't necessarily mean they are in a bad mood either). They may have already maxed out their socializing capacity for the day or they may just be more comfortable in silence. Silence between two people is rarely uncomfortable or awkward for an introvert.
7. Introverts do not always want to be alone.
Yes, introverts cherish their alone time dearly, but that does not mean they should be outcasted to live as a hermit in a mountain. Introverts are human too and therefore need some human love just as much as anyone. Just as extroverted people may still feel like being alone at times, introverted people may get in the mood to chat it up with everyone they see and head on over to a rager. Also, just because an introvert isn’t a lively participant in a conversation, that does not mean they don’t want to be there. Being and introvert does not mean being a misanthrope.
8. Introverts make great leaders.
Introverts make extremely effective leaders. By nature, they lead by example. On top of that, they are particularly skilled at managing interpersonal conflicts because they are great listeners. The time introverts spend alone allows for strong decision making skills, intense thought, increased creativity and higher consideration for multiple perspectives.
9. Introverts can not (and should not) be changed.
Placement on the introvert-extrovert spectrum is a stable personality trait. Extrovert characteristics cannot be learned and are not a sign of a healthier mentality. Being an introvert is not a flaw. Many valued figures identify as (or historically show characteristics of) introverts. This includes Emma Watson, Abraham Lincoln, Bill Gates, Barack Obama, and Beyoncé. That's not a bad group to be a part of, if you ask me.
