We all know that relationships come and go, friendships die and people grow apart. Sometimes people change and they are no longer compatible with their past companions; or busy lives create distance. Everyone expects this to happen with at least a few of their friendships along the way, and most people can still look back on their memories with that person and smile at the good times.

Other times people are driven apart by anger,fighting, and mistakes. I'm sorry to say that was our fate. There's times I wish that I could go back and rewrite it all; I wish I could go back and change what happened between us, but I can't and I accept that. I still think about you quite often, I still hope that you are happy, and that you find success in whatever your dreams may be. I hope that you are happy with how your life played out, and I'm glad to see that you are out exploring the world like you always wanted too. I am genuinely happy for you, but I still can't forgive you.

You were my best friend, my rock, my partner in crime and my other half. We spent countless amounts of hours together talking, laughing, complaining; all things that best friends would do. I told you things I've never told anyone else, and you trusted me the same. We would cry on each other's shoulders, praise each other's accomplishments, and stay together through thick and thin. I don't know where or why it all turned around. I don't understand what happened to the strong bond that we shared. But somewhere along the line it started to deteriorate, and we spiraled down a hellish and hurtful path. And I'm sorry for that.

Over a year ago I read an article you had wrote; I could tell it was about me even though you denied it again and again. You called me your "toxic friend", you blamed me for all of our problems, and our lost friendship. I cried while reading that article because I truly believed that maybe it really was all my fault. Maybe I was the reason our relationship was broken. Maybe I was to blame. I realize now, that I am not the only one at fault.

We both made mistakes, we were both immature and selfish. The difference is I can admit it, and you cannot. We had a peculiar friendship, built on trust and fun and daily "roastings". We picked relentlessly at each other, and yes sometimes we did go a little far. And I can admit I made that mistake a time or too; but I promise you this- it was never intentional. I never intentionally wanted to hurt you, or make you feel bad about yourself. And I still hold guilt because according to you there were times where I had done just that. And please believe me; I am so sorry for hurting you in that way. You are beautiful, you are strong, and you are talented beyond belief. And I apologize if I ever made you feel as if you weren't.

With that being said however, you would do the same. You would pick at my insecurities, you would joke with people at my expense; and I would always laugh it off. We were friends and friends joked with each other, we both thought it was normal; and nothing was ever said about it. Neither one of us brought it up, neither one of us told the other that sometimes jokes hurt, and neither one of us stopped. But you choose to cast all that blame on me. You choose to tell others that I was the only one who was ever mean, or that I was the only one who ever took a joke to far. And that is simply not true.

You wrote about how I would bully you into doing what I wanted, that I would force you to do things that you were not comfortable with. I admit I was a wild card and had my fair share of antics and shenanigans, but you were always right by my side; laughing and carrying on with me. We even kept journals documenting our adventures together, you would talk about them with other friends with complete joy in your eyes and laughter in your voice. You never expressed to me that you didn't want to do these things, and I am sorry if you felt pressured. But I never forced you to do anything, you always had a choice. But for your own agenda you twisted those stories and made it seem like I was forcing you to go along, you made it seem as if I threatened you until you went along with what I wanted. You made yourself out to be a victim. And again, that is simply not true. And it pains me that you took some of our fondest memories, memories that we used to look back on and laugh at together, and twisted them into a painful and dark thing.

You made me out to be a rude, and horrible person. You told people lies to make me seem like a monster, so you could push your own agenda. You told them of the long and expensive trip you took me on where I allegedly told your parents to "shut up". I remember that trip, though it was quite different than the trip you told your readers about. It was a weekend trip to a campground. We went with your family, and another friend. We had a lot of fun that weekend, the five of us all crowded together on a golf cart, driving around the camp looking for something to get into. I even remember the exact incident you were referring too; when you said I told your parents to "shut up". We were in the car on the way to dinner, your two sisters were bickering and you were getting annoyed. To break the tension I laughed and said "does anyone want to play the quiet game?". Your mom and dad laughed; and your mother told me she liked the idea. Unfortunately this did not fit into the article you were writing, you needed an encounter with a little more fire, a little more zest so you could paint me into the monster you wanted the audience to see me as. So again you twisted it, to fit your agenda, so you could be a victim.

Some of your article was true however. You wrote about my eating disorder, and how you were there for me. It is true that I did have an eating disorder, I would go days and days, eating nothing at all, counting the pounds lost, and telling myself it was not enough. Thank you for being my friend through that tough time. You were my rock, and you made me strong. I couldn't have beaten it without you, and for that I am grateful. Though, it was not your story to tell. But that was something you were good at, you always excelled at spilling secrets and broadcasting things that were not yours to show. You made that very clear when you decided to get justice on Twitter. You spilled all of my secrets, things I hadn't ever told anyone else, to an entire online audience. You spoke ill of my family, told followers I was wicked and horrid. All because you needed to feel better about yourself; all because I stood up for a girl you were bullying.

But despite all of this, despite the cyber bullying and the lies, I want to say thank you. You taught me the meaning of a true friend by showing me what a friend wasn't. You taught me to be strong by crushing me and belittling me to build yourself up. You taught me how to move on, and how to grow. And I am better now because of you, and I am stronger now, because of you. I am happy, I have a beautiful family, a wonderful education behind me, and an amazing job. I have grown so much since you left my life. So thank you, you were an anchor in my life, and you taught me how to be strong enough to swim by myself.