Isn't it odd that we let society pollute our mind with the "ideal body image" seen on magazine covers when no woman in our everyday life resembles them, probably not even the models whose bodies are on those magazines because of the amount of Photoshop, airbrushing, and distortion used on them? Why is it that we believe perfection to be a synonym of oddity?
Slim, tall, young girls are encouraged to join the modeling world. The idea of being compared to the beautiful faces and perfectly proportioned bodies we see on street banners, magazines, and social media gives us hope that perhaps we are worth all that admiration. Perhaps, we are worth just as much beauty as our body may represent. First, beauty is subjective, and we are brain-washed into believing the label only fits any 5-feet-10, smooth skin, tiny waist, curvy hips woman. Second, your measurements do not define your worth. Ever. What is beauty at the cost of your health?
We strive to reach those beauty standards which are completely socially constructed and hold nothing other than superficiality––mere unreachable expectations to damage our minds enough to persuade us we are not enough. Enough to manipulate us into diminishing our worth. How many times have you grabbed a box of crackers at the grocery store, read the nutritional facts (or that's how you excused it because all you read were the "calories per serving"), and put it back on the shelves? Thousands. We are corrupting young girls' self-esteem by paralleling health with thinness? Have you ever considered the nights those beautiful girls on magazine covers stood on a scale squeezing their waist because they let the number on it define them? Hundreds. The smell of freshly baked bread entering their nostrils hurt more than their throats after tasting the strongly bitter taste of hunger. Is that what we are teaching the young generations? Are there no limits to beauty standards?
I was what people would call a victim—or survivor—of unrealistic portrayal of body image in social media. I am a twenty-year-old woman who five years ago lost herself in the chasing of perfection—plot twist, the hunt never ceases because the prey is purely an image of our imagination.
Genetically, I am relatively tall—5'9''—and I was considered unusually tall when I was younger. At the age of twelve, I got immersed in the modeling industry thinking that my genetics would do the job. But, they didn't.
When I was fifteen, I started taking it more seriously. I visited agencies and every agent would ask me to "lower inches from my hips," at least three inches. I wondered: how can I shrink my bones? They recommended Pilates.
I spent months following a rigorous workout schedule. Every lunch consisted of a bare plate with scattered veggies, fights with my parents over my eating "obsession." They said I needed to eat more, but I told them that I was not hungry. It was a lie.
One day, after the line between beauty and health got blurred because I was desperate to earn the modeling world's acceptance, I went back to the modeling agencies. Again, it was not enough. Again, they asked me to lose more weight.
Pools of starvation formed above my collar bones. My ribs became piano keys on my stomach. The beauty of an eating disorder; ironically, I was still not beautiful enough to be signed.
Everyone assumes those girls are happy because once they achieve the beauty standards, then there is nothing else to worry about. The problem is you never fully reach perfection because we are contaminated with the idea that perfection doesn't exist, yet we are encouraged to strive for it. Everyone assumes that once we get there, we will finally feel like we are worth something. Your value is not defined by your flesh and bones, but by the beating muscle begging to be heard hiding behind your ribcage.
The truth is if you let others define your worth, if you let yourself be defined by a number, if you become a victim of society because their words scream louder than your inner voice warnings, then you will never be happy.
Don't diminish your worth to comply with society's ideas––the same society that is trying to ruin you. You are worth more than shrinking your presence simply in order to increase your worth. Understand that worth comes from within and self-love is achieved by yourself and not other's acceptance.
